tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post5252521584362491246..comments2023-12-18T17:32:03.325+00:00Comments on Kindred of the Quiet Way: Nakedness and the subconscious mindUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-3617869144758661912017-08-20T18:47:54.143+01:002017-08-20T18:47:54.143+01:00:0(
Boo! Unfair! What miserable shop assistants!...:0( <br /><br />Boo! Unfair! What miserable shop assistants!<br /><br />I like the clothes from Hampstead Bazaar - very, very expensive new, but they come up on eBay sometimes. They are in natural fabrics, and some are made in wrapped and layered styles so are feeding-compatible. I like abayas like they have in Morocco - and if you check out Lagenlook dresses on eBay there are often cotton and linen loose-fitting things. God bless your search - may you find a simple source of things you like, in which you feel really beautiful. xxPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-65675724796071449042017-08-20T09:06:09.818+01:002017-08-20T09:06:09.818+01:00Good tip Pen, re mens clothes. I will check the mi...Good tip Pen, re mens clothes. I will check the middle aged mens section! My husband offers to share his clothes with me, but he is a rake!<br />I guess the crux of my real frustration is every time I shop the assistants I ask for help tell me the problem is that I am breastfeeding and have children, not that the stores don't have decent clothing options for women. Motherhood is considered a temporary affliction and I should hide away. I feel like I deserve nice practical comfortable clothing. And I would love to look beautiful performing what I feel is pretty special important role. I have a passion for textiles and fabric and want to be a textile artist, so I love seeing beautiful fabric. I don't want to look shabby. My family, my husband, my boys and even the look of love and joy on my baby girls face make me feel like a queen. They honour me for the role I play in their life. But the script from wider society is constant and is this process of tearing down and stripping at me. People in the street always throw their comments at me, like little thought bombs of patriarchy. They talk down to me, shout out their 'pity' at my 'situation'. Try to to share in some notion of my suffering as a mother, I don't suffer as a mother, I struggle as a woman. The facebook culture has stopped people having conversations with me where my thoughts and feelings are allowed to reciprocate theirs, they just comment at me and walk on. <br />Anekhanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-86233562938605904992017-08-20T08:50:56.930+01:002017-08-20T08:50:56.930+01:00Hello Lovelies...
You are like a super sleuth Pen...Hello Lovelies... <br />You are like a super sleuth Pen! Yes, anonymous 1 and 2 are the same, and me... Anekha. It wasn't obtuseness on my part but absentmindedness. Sorry! I get a bit emotional with the whole clothes and dressing issue. A bit confusing and I'll try to make sure I have filled all the bits in properly before I post. <br />The other issue I had with plain dress is I am of asian descent.... and while they are perfect for the life I live. Practical, child friendly... I kinda look silly in that style of clothes. I found a loose fitting red dress in a soft fabric online, it is really comfy and I added zips to the side, but they don't quite work for breastfeeding access, and I look like I am wearing a nightdress. I have been trying to learn to sew, but I am not great at it, and I don't have much time to sew with little kids... if I knew what I was doing it would be fine, but I don't so I need to concentrate. Fabric is very costly in my country, nothing of natural fibre would be less than $30 a metre, so I can't afford to make mistakes. I learned to make a decent apron skirt, then realised they don't suit me, haha. If I could only make underwear, but lingerie is pretty hard to sew. <br />We were out yesterday and My husband took my boys to a different shop and said to me yesterday "go and find something you like, get some clothes.... " It was a lovely gesture, but so stressful, I couldn't find anything that fit. They shop attendants were no help at all. They told me I need to find a friend or girlfriend to help me, and leave the baby at home. She wasn't stopping me from finding clothes. She sat happily in the pram the whole time! I don't know any women who have the time or inclination to help me dress myself. They all have so much more important things to do. <br />Anekhanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-43406785633410548172017-08-13T15:45:54.569+01:002017-08-13T15:45:54.569+01:00Oh, cool! What good ideas! Also, if you still like...Oh, cool! What good ideas! Also, if you still like the plain dress type clothes, The Kings Daughters sell patterns - the pinafore dresses are the most normal of their clothes, and they have patterns for those. The postage is an arm and a leg is the only thing, but the patterns themselves are affordable.Pen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-87536893512994164082017-08-13T13:45:12.118+01:002017-08-13T13:45:12.118+01:00Anonymous 1...Pattern drafting is what you need to...Anonymous 1...Pattern drafting is what you need to Google. If you can sew you can probably draft your own patterns and there are online blogs that teach you for free or websites like Craftsy that you can pay to do courses on (I did a beading course and it was excellent, I recommend them). For more hands on help, I bet your local college will have a pattern drafting course. You can start with a commercial pattern and adjust it or draw one from scratch. Once you have the pattern the way you like it you'll never have to wear stuff you don't like again :-DDeborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17295624431714012643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-18942823014750068162017-08-12T07:33:07.025+01:002017-08-12T07:33:07.025+01:00Hello dears.
I cannot control the order in which ...Hello dears.<br /><br />I cannot control the order in which comments are posted - they appear in strict chronological order. So I think Anekha posted her comments between the two comments from 'Anonymous', but those two comments appear to me to be from the same person, as they have the same flavour about them. It is helpful if when you post anonymously you add your name to the comment (even if it's not your real name, but be consistent obviously), as Philippa has above. If you cast your eye over the thread you'll see there are two or three anonymous comments, and it's helpful in responding to know if the same person is commenting more than once or if this is a new person. And nice to have some idea who you are or if you've been here before. But not a big deal - please don't feel stressed about it.<br /><br />So - Anekha - hello, lovely to hear from you. Very savvy of your mother. Only this week I have bought a scarf for the exact purpose you describe! I'll see how I go with it. I find wearing scarves somewhat annoying, in the same way I don't like frills and strings and buckles on my clothes, but I have noticed looking at other women that it des add something dressy, and helps to disguise the tiny stains on the front of my clothes from frying (or dropping) food. I know. I should wear an apron!<br /><br />And 'Anonymous' 1 - hello! Yes, I had that trouble with plain dress - being conspicuous. A pity, because I loved, loved, loved the clothes. But they made me stand out and I felt anxious about my husband not liking the appearance of them. I still hanker after those clothes, though. About weight loss and gain - I too take off and put on weight very easily, and I don't like clothes that constrict or expose. I like to wear modest clothes - high neck, long sleeves, dark colours, not figure-hugging.<br />My favourite tops are Evans basic tees from their 'essentials' range. Evans is a UK firm, but I buy most clothes are on eBay secondhand, and some will post overseas. Evans starts around a UK size 14 and goes up to over UK size 30. Their 'basic' tees are lightweight (good for summer) but not at all diaphanous, clingy or see-through; they wash and wear well.<br />My favourite trousers are Lands End (again a UK firm but ships anywhere, I imagine) Starfish straight-leg jersey knit trousers. They are a heavy-weight jersey with a wide waistband that doesn't roll or twist. I wear them in black, every day. They go from petite to plus sizes.<br />I only wear stretchy clothes in dark solid colours.<br />When I was breastfeeding (one child or another for a decade), I wore tees, sweaters or sweatshirts, not button-front shirts. To put the child to the breast I lifted up the front just enough to tuck the child in to feed. I found I could do this very discreetly so I could feed even in church without anyone noticing. I know they didn't notice and this was not just my wishful thinking, because if a rather traditional man came up to chat as I was sitting there with a baby, he'd be talking happily, and only after a while realise I was feeding a baby and be momentarily embarrassed. I don't mean the same man every time - any man.<br />Good luck with finding clothes you like that fit and cover you well! <br /><br />Anonymous 2 - I think you may be the same person as Anonymous 1, but I'm not quite sure.<br />Yes, my winter sweaters are both men's. M&S North Coast bought secondhand on eBay. I mention the make because I find it best, if buying men's clothes to wear as a traditionally-built (!) woman, to go for the makes aimed at middle aged men. They have wider hips.<br /><br />Nice to hear from you, dears. xxPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-11595070052994093552017-08-12T06:27:42.278+01:002017-08-12T06:27:42.278+01:00i have learned to buy mens sweaters/jumpers they s...i have learned to buy mens sweaters/jumpers they seem to be warmer, better quality wool and easier and more sturdy to wash. I learned that after borrowing my husbands jumper when we were newly weds and marvelling at how warm it was! All my 'womens' jumpers left me freezing. <br />Why is it all womens clothing are made of such delicate impractical fabrics? everything says handwash dry flat in the shade.... I don't have time for that! I want the ease of my husbands and sons wardrobe. A shirt and trousers.... the only decision to make is shorts or a jumper. everything generally matches everything else. You can't do that with womens clothes.... even if you just stick to shirt and trousers the cuts have to work or you end up with bits of body hanging out and over etc... <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-49893759608609384662017-08-12T00:16:13.090+01:002017-08-12T00:16:13.090+01:00I actually have a suggestion for the issue of the ...I actually have a suggestion for the issue of the odd fancy occasion. My mum has perfected the art of the scarf and passed the gem on.... <br />She can literally wear a simple outfit, and just throw a scarf over for a dressy occasion. She is an artist so often just wears paint stained tshirts.... She somehow manages to dress it all up by throwing a pretty scarf over when the occasion calls for it. <br />A plain wardrobe looks fine with a simple gauzy, silky scarf over it. Thrift stores often have them for very few dollars, and they take up not much space. Anekhanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-9907085864047322982017-08-12T00:11:28.503+01:002017-08-12T00:11:28.503+01:00Oh my goodness! The anxiety and stress of needing ...Oh my goodness! The anxiety and stress of needing to be dressed cannot be expressed or overstated. I read this yesterday and spent a few hours thinking of all the various layers of why dressing is hard. It's been years I have struggled with this. It is a daily struggle as I have to do it every day! Every day i need something to cover my body, I am yet to find a solution. <br />It led me to investigate plain dress... I just wanted to put down the burden of choosing clothes everyday. And led me to your blog so many years ago. <br />I realised plain dress would make me stand out even more, and still couldn't find anything that fits. Now the situation is worse. With fast fashion I can't even buy clothes that won't fall apart after a wash. Everything is so poorly manufactured. I have no single shirt I can button all the way, or that covers my breasts properly. I have tried learn to make my own, but can't find a pattern I can make that works for my shape. One day i will find something... and sew multiples of the same outfit. Over and over. <br />The anxiety I have developed has descended to an eating disorder that caught me unawares as I didn't realise you can have an eating disorder without wanting to be thin. It came more from a feeling of helplessness, anxiety and wanting control and wanting to be healthy. I am recovering but putting back on the weight I lost has meant I no longer fit in many clothes. Cue the stress again.... stress that loosing weight had exacerbated. buying more does not help. The shops have nothing in my size I can breast feed in. And saying you won't breastfeed forever is no help. I have been feeding and nourishing my children for the last 7 years. I have a right to have clothes while I do it. I really can't stand having to be nearly naked everytime I feed. I get so cold. <br />I am not that unusual in size, just different proportions.Unlucky to be a size that means if I put on 4 kgs nothing fits. I can't even find underwear in my size.... The deficit in my clothes is so severe. It started basically when I grew a womans shape and breasts so it feels like a sign of how being a woman can be disempowering. I feel so dejected something. How can I as a grown woman not even manage to dress myself..... It's an issue that seems petty and insignificant and shallow to others so I have no help at all. But everyday, I still need to find something to put on. <br />The deficit in my wardrobe is so severe... I don't think I have even one full outfit. It's too hot in Australia to layer and try and cover parts of my body with different bits of clothes. If a shirt fits the top of my body but my tummy hangs out.... well... oh I am not going to go into it. It takes up so much space in my head trying to figure out the perfect nexus of coverage, weather appropriateness, comfort, durability, breastfeeding... something that doesn't hurt or have holes in it. <br />*sigh* I so don't want to waste so much time on this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-7791854420400227682017-07-28T19:22:21.349+01:002017-07-28T19:22:21.349+01:00All too familiar territory!
I don't know Mark...All too familiar territory!<br /><br />I don't know Mark Tabb's book - will look it up - thanks for the recommendation and I'm glad you enjoyed my simplicity book. xPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-81715896483971729512017-07-27T14:40:38.794+01:002017-07-27T14:40:38.794+01:00Hi - I look forward to reading your posts. This on...Hi - I look forward to reading your posts. This one rings very true with me. I know I have enough clothes for my general needs but I check ebay for fleeces from Maine at Debenhams & M&S Zip cardigans & clarks ankle boots. These items are some of my staple clothing and are either too expensive in the shops or are now no longer available. This leads me to looking for other items which I think will be life transforming when I win the bid and they arrive in the post! Sometimes I get a bargain but quite often I wonder why I bought the item - some items I think have gone beyond being re- sold! I am like you and can't wait to be rid of the clothes which I thought would be wonderful! This confirms to me I really do have enough clothes - my advice to myself - stop looking on ebay!! A book I have just finished reading is Living with less: the upside of downsizing your life by Mark Tabb which is a good read. I have also read your book about simplifying your life which I enjoyed. Hope your quiet retreat went well. Thank you again for all you share with us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-81638586081166099482017-07-26T18:09:56.257+01:002017-07-26T18:09:56.257+01:00:0)
Thank you.
xx:0)<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />xxPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-62810086078357944362017-07-26T13:56:10.256+01:002017-07-26T13:56:10.256+01:00All is well where it counts :)
Looking forward to ...All is well where it counts :)<br />Looking forward to what thoughts find their way here..... <br />I lift your "issues" and responsibilities to the "throne" as I type. ♥rebeccahttp://lifeandgodliness-rebecca.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-41946703310196180322017-07-25T13:05:52.905+01:002017-07-25T13:05:52.905+01:00Thank you, Rebecca - I'm so grateful for your ...Thank you, Rebecca - I'm so grateful for your prayers for me. I've had some health and life issues, and some Bible studies to write for publication; but lots of thoughts too, which will doubtlessly find their way onto the page here before too long. I hope all is well with you. xxPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-89314474872588671492017-07-25T11:32:41.390+01:002017-07-25T11:32:41.390+01:00It's been awfully "quiet" over there...It's been awfully "quiet" over there at the "quiet way"....<br />Missing you and your thoughts. Praying all is well and will be well. ♥rebeccahttp://lifeandgodliness-rebecca.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-83189065573861447382017-07-24T11:21:51.775+01:002017-07-24T11:21:51.775+01:00Oh, wow! All those colours came before my mind'...Oh, wow! All those colours came before my mind's eye as I read - so pretty! <br />Stiff suits? Aaaaagh noooooo!<br />It will be lovely to see you in October.<br />xxPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-9710623691665035482017-07-24T11:08:29.344+01:002017-07-24T11:08:29.344+01:00No more Quiet Days with Pen! Oh no! Sob! Ah, we...No more Quiet Days with Pen! Oh no! Sob! Ah, well, that's another good reason to attend your next (final?) one on Wednesday 18 October, at Penhurst. :) <br /><br />Clothes: I am a big fan of the theory that people should wear the right colours for them. I'm a Spring, which means I can wear warm, bright (but not TOO bright) colours, e.g. soft greeny-blues, teal, aqua and turquoise (my favourite), primrose and yellow lemons, mossy and lime greens, peach and coral. I am allowed to wear yellow-reds (not pinky-reds) but whenever I wear red I feel very agitated, so I don't wear it. It's not the colour of fire and danger for nothing (!) The colours should not overwhelm you: you wear them, not the other way round. I am happiest in blues and greens - restful colours that complement my skin tone. <br /><br />I like comfortable, soft clothing preferably made from natural fabrics - cotton, linen, silk. I can't bear frilliness and fuss, or stiff suits. <br /><br />Colours are beautiful and I like to wear a splash of colour in winter, when EVERYONE is in black and grey. Which is why my favourite winter coat is coral. <br /><br />- Philippa <br />xxxx <br /><br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-54923264092200074562017-07-18T08:34:34.966+01:002017-07-18T08:34:34.966+01:00Oh yes - I haunt eBay, waiting for garments in the...Oh yes - I haunt eBay, waiting for garments in the brand, fabric, size, cut and colour I like (with long sleeves!) to come up second-hand at prices I am prepared to pay!Pen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-81072700663304216952017-07-17T18:06:53.382+01:002017-07-17T18:06:53.382+01:00Happened to me - again. Just like you described
I...Happened to me - again. Just like you described<br />I actually DO need a new (different) black skirt and gray skirt as the two I have are beginning to "bead" as I call it. SO difficult to find suitable length and washable fabric in a skirt these days. Not to MENTION realistic cost!<br />Sigh.rebeccahttp://lifeandgodliness-rebecca.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-44757099796678491882017-07-12T14:45:43.795+01:002017-07-12T14:45:43.795+01:00I think I have yours. Oh. No, I can no longer find...I think I have yours. Oh. No, I can no longer find it. I used to have it.<br /><br />:0(Pen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-39799906992712902092017-07-12T12:25:50.306+01:002017-07-12T12:25:50.306+01:00Um...no I don't have your email address. I hav...Um...no I don't have your email address. I have your house address ; )<br />Rapunzelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18381797135241461102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-5780856052548235492017-07-11T21:36:14.528+01:002017-07-11T21:36:14.528+01:00Ah ~ cotton homespun ~ the best fabric *ever*. I l...Ah ~ cotton homespun ~ the best fabric *ever*. I love it. Send me pics when you've made a dress (you still have my email address?) xPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-66839314051932969662017-07-11T20:05:29.360+01:002017-07-11T20:05:29.360+01:00"Because my clothes-my regular clothes-are th..."Because my clothes-my regular clothes-are the ones I want."<br /><br />Yes--that is also my feeling exactly! <br /> When I got the boss lady job I needed new clothes, because frankly my little collection of faded dresses I sewed in 2007 do not suit the role of boss lady. Then because I was the boss lady and moved up to working full days five days a week I hadn't time to shop for good fabrics and sew a new set of clothes.<br /> To solve the dilemma I found good seamstresses and ordered some skirts and blouses and jumpers that I can mix and match, and on one level they've served the purpose well enough. They keep me covered decently. But in two years of wearing them they don't feel like me. You'd think I'd have gotten over that, but no.<br /> Consequently I've found some good homespun cloth in quiet colors and begun sewing simple dresses from my old pattern of a decade ago. Two done so far, and I'm awfully happy with them already. When I've gotten the whole lot sewn then all the boughten skirts and blouses can go to the thrift store and be found by someone they suit!!!<br /><br />I love, love, love to look at pictures of pretty clothes, all colors, all kinds. But my real clothes are the ones I want.Rapunzelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18381797135241461102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-55300198728717223052017-07-11T15:34:46.905+01:002017-07-11T15:34:46.905+01:00How peaceful. That sounds lovely. xHow peaceful. That sounds lovely. xPen Wilcockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13818227904371811230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55532501364780143.post-62241695375130075932017-07-11T14:13:02.619+01:002017-07-11T14:13:02.619+01:00Although predominately solid colours I used to be ...Although predominately solid colours I used to be a bit of a patterned person but nice 80s pretty flowery patterns. I have yet to see patterned fabrics these days that look nice. Most of them are hideous (for clothes, not crafts) So many outfits I see people in I think, 'why on earth did the manufacturer think that was a good choice?!' So I'm totally plain, either Evans or Cotton Traders and I have 3 skirts, a blue cord skirt, a red skirt and that green cotton you sent me. I think I have about 14 T-shirts at the moment...4 of them are white :-DDeborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17295624431714012643noreply@blogger.com