Economy is a beautiful thing. When strands weave together effectively in achieving a common purpose, it is so pleasing. There is great wastefulness in the way the religious folk of the world have viewed each other's faiths as being in competition — to be defeated in a perpetual war. Wiser to practice faith economy and use every glimpse into wisdom and holiness we have. The Muslim can learn so much from the Jew, Shinto has so much to teach the Sufi — they are mutually enriching, they speak of divine being, they are all clear shining stars in the frosty night sky, one does not diminish another by being there.
Taoism is probably the religion/philosophy that has most enriched my own faith practice as a Christian. The Taoist way has a lot of vocabulary and perspective in common with the way of Jesus. In particular it has spoken to me of simplicity, humility and littleness as a source of spiritual wisdom and strength.
During the years I was a Methodist presbyter, much of my practice was informed by Taoist wisdom. That was in the days before the internet with its relentless self-exposure and self-promotion had gathered strength, but not before self-marketing and self-advertisement had received the stamp of social approval, travelling to England from America (I think).
So during the years I was a pastor the talk was all of how to attract people, how to increase footfall and build up church numbers and — the holy grail — how to entice men into our congregations. We had enough women, thank you very much. Men were all the thing.
Out of tune with the times, I was more interested in aspects of accessibility and authenticity than in advertisement and attraction. When I prepared couples for marriage, they would ask me resignedly, "How often do we have to come to church to qualify to get married there?" And I'd say, "What? Don't come at all if that's your attitude. Come because you want to, because you're seeking something, because your heart yearns for truth. Otherwise stay in bed and enjoy your Sunday. It's better if our worship of God comes from a true heart, uncluttered by people who are only there because they think they have to be. You are always welcome, but only because you want to be there. You can get married in our church because you really mean it, but you don't have to pay for it with something you don't really mean."
We had a lot of people living with profound disabilities in our congregation, and on a Sunday morning they were brought to church by their carers — who helpfully provided a sort of litmus test for preaching. Standing in the pulpit, I could assess the effectiveness of my preaching by watching for the moment the carers stopped eating sweets and reading their Friday Ad because their attention had been caught and held by what I was saying to them. I wanted them at least to become involved in the spiritual journey of the people they had brought to chapel — and, pleasingly, they did. They became their faith advocates; they didn't necessarily believe in God but they came to believe in being part of what we were doing; because it was real. People feel and respond to authenticity.
There's a kind of evangelism that almost makes me feel physically sick, that speaks about befriending people and inviting them to join in (with golf, with dinner parties, with outings to the cinema), not for the pleasure of their company but with the ulterior motive of trapping them in the ideological snare of one's own perspective. It has a close associate in the equally nauseating approach that uses an enjoyable activity like art or a meal together as a "hook" to draw in unsuspecting souls who thought they were valued for themselves and were pleased to have received an invitation.
I once fell prey to such a system. When I was new to our town as a young mother of a baby, my husband played the organ at an Anglo-Catholic church. One of the priests on the leadership team made friends with us. Because I knew hardly anyone in Hastings at that time, I looked forward to his visits to our home and was happy we had made a friend. Then I discovered from somebody's casual remark that the priest-in-charge had instructed this man to "make friends" with us because they valued my husband's input as a musician and wanted to consolidate the connection and keep him firmly attached to that church. The "friendship" ended right there and then. I am completely uninterested in duplicity and being the collateral of someone's strategic targeting.
So my own approach to ministry was different. One of our teachers in the Ashburnham Stable Family (an affiliation of East Sussex Christians) spoke to us about what he called "question evangelism", where the person you are and the life you live causes others to ask questions about your outlook and motivation — "How do you stay so patient? Why do you feel so peaceful? How did you find the strength to cope?" etc. When they ask, you tell them, as in 1 Peter 3.15: "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." Our teacher suggested to us that if our life caused no one to ask any questions, we'd probably do better to keep quiet. No "hooks", no "befriending", no advertising, marketing or church growth strategy; just honest practice of a living faith — authenticity. I believed in that, in the Spirit who leads us into truth.
Then there was accessibility. As the pastor of a church with a high percentage of people living with disability, in Hastings which is a pocket of poverty in East Sussex which is a pocket of poverty in the south east of England, I certainly believed in accessibility.
I wanted us to practice accessibility of worship, so planning and ordering what we did as to be as inclusive as we possibly could, making children and adults alike feel welcome. Our congregation was equally opening and welcoming to women and men, gay and straight, people of all races and social backgrounds. The alcoholic, the ex-prisoner, the MP, the head teacher, the little child — they were all there. I especially treasured the day an atheist who came to worship every week humbly asked me if it would be all right for him to receive the Eucharist. That converting and sanctifying ordinance, as John Wesley described it: yes, it certainly would.
I wanted us to have accessibility of lifestyle — living in such unassuming simplicity that nobody felt ashamed or shabby alongside us or visiting our homes. We were to be the poor alongside the poor in this town where many people lived in such poverty.
I wanted us to have accessibility in our socialising — events that no one had to pay to attend, and people of all ages and abilities could enjoy and join in at their own level. So we had our pantomime that we wrote and performed ourselves with the help of talented local musicians from our wonderful town in which music flourishes. We had our tea-dance, for which two ballroom dancers in the congregation taught those of us with two left feet to waltz; and those who were in wheelchairs or could only crawl came along for the live band and the strawberry tea. We had our treasure hunt through the countryside where those who had cars took those who did not, in pursuit of solving clues across East Sussex. Everything was for everyone — no hidden agendas, only honest welcome, inclusion, respect and humble love.
I wanted accessibility in our preaching — the gospel explained in such a way that it took fire in the imagination. What people believe is up to them, but what we believe should be accessible to them to make up their minds. Imagination is the doorway into spiritual understanding; why Jesus always taught the people in stories.
But I also wanted a particular kind of inaccessibility: the practice of littleness and hiddenness. It made me quietly happy that our church address did not, as such, exist. It was called "Park Road Church", and there was no "Park Road". Back then in pre-internet days, people relied on map books to look places up. In the map book for Hastings and St Leonards, there was Upper Park Road and Lower Park Road, but not Park Road as such. You had to look under U or L in the index, not P. When I found a complete stranger in the road outside my house looking for me and wondering if this was the place, when a complete stranger turned up at Sunday morning worship who had been "looking for this church for ages", I knew we were on the right track.
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. (Matt.13.44-46 NIVUK)
The treasure is hidden, and it is real treasure. The pearl is hidden, and it really is a pearl of great price. The treasure is not cheap and tempting baubles displayed to entice people into mistakenly purchasing an acre of disappointing mud. It's not a string of glass beads advertised to look like something special. It's accessible — anyone can dig in the mud, anyone can go fishing — but it's hidden and, when you you find it, it's the real deal.
oh this is beautiful Pen.
ReplyDeleteI am off to Greenbelt today and DELIGHTED by its focus on accessibility. I can arrive a day early (today) and leave a day late so I don't have to deal with all the busy-ness. I am in a quiet camping area. There is a 'Haven' tent on the main festival site with little camp beds and a quiet area. It's still a small festival so I should be able to find peace and quiet
I detest the idea of friendship evangelism, as you say it is fake and I can't be doing with fakeness.
We've talked before about finding church exhausting with its demands, now we have a new vicar who actually said 'Yeah! Clap for Jesus!'.... I haven't been back since, but it is summer and I prefer to roam and wander at this time of year. I hope I don't find his preaching exhausting when I go back
"'Yeah! Clap for Jesus!' . . . I haven't been back since"
ReplyDeleteMade me laugh!!!
Have a lovely time at Greenbelt — I have happy memories of it. x
Suzan — thank you for your comment. As you asked me not to publish it, I deleted it, but bear in mind I cannot read more than the first few lines of a comment unless I publish it (Google blogger doesn't let me do that). Even if I subscribe (ha! to my own blog!) I can see only the whole of a comment after it's published, unless the comment is very short. So I could read only part of what you wrote to me. If you want to message me privately, the best thing is to comment again leaving your email address — I'll then delete the comment but contact you via email to set up a connection. Anyway, I grasped that recent developments are happy, so hooray for that! x
ReplyDeleteWell the title says it all, and the sentiments expressed are totally on the mark. We have all probably been in situations where someone seems to be extending the hand of friendship only to later find out it was a manipulative ploy, it is quite hurtful. And, sadly, is probably why I avoid joining any groups and have a high suspicion of anyone offering friendship, my first thought is, "now, what do they want?".
ReplyDeleteIt is sad, I think society and communities lack authenticity, so much is about self promotion, and money making opportunities, but the carnage of hurt and damaged people left in the wake is a high price to pay.
As always, I enjoy your thoughts on different topics because they are well thought out, well stated, and most importantly authentic. You are a good egg Pen :)
Bean
Thank you, Bean! Waving! Yes, it's wise to be cautious.
ReplyDeleteHello Ms. Wilcock!
ReplyDeleteI hope that this is the right place to contact you. We love your book "The Hawk and the Dove" and have written it into our high school literature curriculum. It looks like it is now out of print in the United States. Can you tell me where we can purchase this for our upcoming school year?
Thank you!
Mike Austin
Heart of Dakota
thank you, pen. as always, your wisdom and perspective give me encouragement. those old taoists knew a thing or two!
ReplyDeleteMike Austin — thank you so much for taking the trouble to look me up and get in touch. I've alerted my publisher to the problem and will get in touch with you by email to let you know further what action I have taken.
ReplyDeleteGreta — hello! Waving! xx
HUGE chunks of this post express my thoughts better than I could ever express them myself! Thank yo. And the timing couldn't be better for me personally. I too am physically sicked-not "almost"- by the tactics you describe.
ReplyDeleteHi Rebecca — thank you — waving!
ReplyDeleteLooks like in my passion I failed to proofread my comment! ☹️ I blush.
DeleteOh, my heck!
ReplyDeleteFlood of memories from long,long ago in another place. We were assigned as a family to befriend a certain family with the goal of bringing them into the fold. (I felt very wary about this...). One of our congregation knew the husband from work and thought they would be a real asset to our congregation. And they were lovely people, too!
Meanwhile it turns out they had been urged to befriend Us, with hopes of bringing us into their fold, as we apparently would have been as asset to their congregation.
I think this situation ultimately made me feel more a fool that I ever have in all my life before or since.
I now try to avoid that good-intention paved road. Sigh.
Love your way of sorting out and expressing things Pen!
Maybe you could have just swapped folds and called it quits? x
ReplyDeleteChristianity has to market itself like the corner working girl because, at the end of the day, it is vacant of any real "god-liness" while denying the power thereof. They think it's a-okay to borrow from--well, anywhere (except their own heritage), no matter how incongruent with their "faith", while also claiming that "Nobody comes to the Father but by me." Well, which is it?
ReplyDeleteAnd like a spoiled child, they only eat what they like off any plate, including their own. Check your actual history of the church--particularly during Theodosius. All except the plates of the Jews--let's let our replacement theology take care of that one--well, until "Judeo-Christian" went from meaning a Jew who, bless "Jesus", saw the light of the gospel to now being some false doctrine of "shared" values. When you say that the front of the book is for the Jews and the back for the Christians--and that those are entirely different, having been "changed" like sabbath, feast days, health instructions--just to cite a handful--which things do they share, again???
The Almighty didn't bat an eyelash to send packing his own wayward, paganism-adopting people--Israel and later Judah nearly gone--in order to maintain "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the Lord is one: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." (Deut 6) When they sallied about with every Tom, Dick, and Shlomo, he had to divorce them. He prefers an exclusive relationship.
And my other wonder is if you're just as poor so as to cause no offense, how do you actually help someone who is lacking in material resources? One sees the "authentic" Yahshua, sometimes called "Jesus", in the Torah when it called for a) The double inheritance by the firstborn--as he was going to succeed the head of the house as the provider for all in the house-all the extended family and anyone else who had been accepted into the group and the "slaves" who were actually "employees" who were taken in for 6 years' work to get themselves on their feet again, b) a special kinsman redeemer system to provide for the well-being of family in particularly dire straits, c) the leaving of edges of fields for the traveler to receive sustenance, d) the third tithe for the maintenance of widows and orphans (when you can hardly get a first tithe out of people--hmm....) e) the rule that any stranger "in your midst" was to be taken well care of (ref Abraham serving the Lord and the angels), f) the land sabbath for the earth to renew itself to provide healthy food and prosperity, and g) the Jubilee every 50th year to guarantee that family lands were returned and the balance of the economy maintained. Happily singing kumbayah with people who are poor doesn't get it, and to actually provide food and raiment, one needs some assets.
When this torah ("instructions", "law" only in the sense of being immutable like the "law" of gravity) regarding economics/the poor are followed, there are virtually no more poor. It's the true "social justice." This "Christian" country I live in could take a lesson. But hey--you Christians--you do you.
I love this post. So much truth. I remember being pressured to make friends with people down the road to "encourage" them to come to church. I just couldn't. I have since changed churches. Still struggling with reconciling Jesus and Church. The decluttering(previous post) is progressing. I love your blog. Find it very encouraging. Sandra
ReplyDeleteHow about this sponsored ad on my Facebook page? "Want to learn how to do a generosity weekend at your church? Or communicate more effectively with major givers?
ReplyDeleteYou'll love this new resource packed with pastor interviews, how-to's, templates and more.
Now through Saturday - get $100 off! Don't miss this exclusive introductory offer before the price goes up."
Haha!
ReplyDeleteI wish we'd thought of that ; )
Hello friends!
ReplyDeleteHi Jenna — not sure I follow 100%, but thank you so much for your long and thoughtful comment.
Hi Rebecca — that Facebook page ad!!
Hi Rapunzel — or you could have both left and just met up together on Sundays . . .
xx Waving, friends!
Pen—what a gem of a post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. They ring true to my soul. :)
ReplyDeleteMike Austen—after a quick search, the third edition of The Hawk and the Dove is available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. It may not match up with your curriculum’s page numbers, but the content is all there.
Thank you, Emily! x
ReplyDelete(Jenna 1)
ReplyDeleteJenna — It was late last night at the end of a long day that I read your comment, so I apologise for having responded so inadequately to your long and detailed response to my post. It’s morning now, so I hope I may do it justice.
I might have to post my response it more than one comment, having already posted a response only to have it vanish completely into the ether. Darn. I wish I’d had the sense to copy and save it! So here follow my responses to the different sections of what you said.
(Jenna 2)
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I’d like to respond to your comments about the spoiled child eating from any plate including their own. I understand you to be referring to my saying I have learned from the wisdom of other religions, especially Taoism, and found this has enriched my own spiritual practice.
I like your metaphor of the child and the plates — I think it’s exactly right for the purpose. The image you present us is, of course, what is nowadays called “baby-led weaning”, accepted as a wise and natural way for a child to progress from drinking only mother’s milk to a full and varied diet. At the table sit many adults (in our metaphor representing the sages of the world faiths), who each has his or her own plate, as does the child. They allow the child to take morsels from all the plates as well as her own, and that’s okay; not one of them is eating poison, none of them feels the need to jealously guard their food from a child who is learning what is good.
It is the perfect metaphor — except I don’t concur with your conclusion that the child is spoiled and should eat only from her own plate. This tasting and sharing is how children learn, and the adults are patient and understanding with someone who is only little. Baby-led weaning is about experimentation, trust, gaming confidence, the freedom to try things out and learn for oneself, and about being patient and generous with the little ones. It’s a really good image for how we spiritually learn and grow.
(Jenna 3)
ReplyDeleteYou mention Theodosius and encourage me to check the history of the church.
When I look into church history, what I find — even among the desert fathers — is a mixed bag. There is much that is sublime, absolute treasure. But I also find men telling me I as a woman am the devil’s gateway, fit only for being a wife and a prostitute — and I know that to be untrue. I am keen to learn from the fathers of the faith, but I still find I need to exercise my own judgement in filtering gold from dross in what they offer.
I also find, when I explore church history, people torturing one another and burning each other alive over doctrinal and religio-political difference; it’s not edifying. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view, but gentleness, respect and willingness to hear and learn from others remains important.
(Jenna 4)
ReplyDeleteI’d like to respond to your paragraph about the Almighty not batting an eyelash to send packing his own wayward, paganism-adopting people.
It is important to me to make a distinction between religious structures/dogma/doctrine and God — the I Am, the Mystery, the Ground of our being. God is everywhere, in everyone and everything. God is not boundaries or contained by our doctrinal structures and religion.
I personally go with the teaching of Jesus that a tree is known by its fruit, and with Paul’s exposition of that — “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control”; and with John’s teaching, “where charity and love are, there is God.”
I believe I have touched the presence of God wherever I find that fruit of the Spirit.
To confuse God with religious structures and dogmas is, I believe the mistaken path ISIS treads, and I am wary of it because it leads to war and persecutions.
(Jenna 5)
ReplyDeleteIf you’re still with me, thank you for your patience!
I finally want to address your paragraph beginning: “And my other wonder is if you're just as poor so as to cause no offense, how do you actually help someone who is lacking in material resources?”
I think this is an important question, that takes us to the heart of the Incarnation. The letter to the Philippians puts it well (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+2.5-8&version=NIVUK ) in identifying the kenosis of Jesus as our template and salvific example. In his self-emptying, Jesus shows us that to come and share someone’s poverty is the beginning of lifting them up. St Francis also models this for us in his life.
A few decades ago I had the privilege of being part of a group met to formulate the Methodist Church’s response to poverty in the UK. My particular task was to listen to people living in poverty ad represent their point of view. What I discovered has never left me. The thing that the poor themselves actually wanted, more than any cash handout, was a friend. Having a companion on the journey enabled them to find the inner resources they needed to address the challenges they faced.
Someone who will come and be where you are and take the way with you — that is the Incarnation. It is foundational to our faith.
Thank you so much for your comment, Jenna, and I hope these responses of mine go some way to addressing what you said.
Please excuse my typos!
ReplyDeleteShould have been "gaining confidence" not "gaming confidence" (about baby-led weaning).
Should have been "God is not boundaried" not "God is not boundaries".
I suffer from an opinionated Auto-correct!
Dear Pen and Jenna
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting discussion! I know so little biblical history that I am interested in seeing two people who have read and thought deeply with the bible and about Christianity discuss the important issues. I was drawn to Pen’s blog from Hawk and the Dove, and because ‘kindred and quiet way’ suits me, and the guiding light that god is in the ‘ goodness’ of being and nature. But perhaps this just seems woolly thinking to those who have their belief rooted in the particular rather than the broad. I think there must be room for both ways to approach god, I hope, because Otherwise people like me would be discouraged or discounted for not following some exact way. Xx Lucie
Hi Lucie — waving! Yes, Jenna is indeed a deep thinker. She and I got to know each other through exploring Plain Dress on the internet and in our lives, several years ago. We are almost exactly the same age, both drawn to quietness, and both committed to lives shaped by the faith practice of our discipleship.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you; and you are anything but woolly in your thinking!