Sounds laughable, but I had five children and very little money.
I made a decision early on, never, no matter how much money I had at any give time, to attach an expensive gift like a bicycle, musical instrument or (later) electronic equipment to a birthday or Christmas. If I did that I'd be setting myself up for disappointing people on subsequent occasions.
It was important to me to treat my children both fairly and as individuals. In recent years I have stopped giving gifts (except for my aged mother and our grandchildren), but in the years of their childhood I used to give my children a Christmas 'stocking' brought magically in the night by Father Christmas, who I had explained to them was the story of Christmas. I let them know early that Father Christmas was only a story, as I wanted to make a distinction between that exciting childhood story and the real, true story of the baby Jesus, the infant Light of the world.
In their 'stocking' — actually a bag — I would put ten things:
Something to wear
Something to read
Something to eat
Something with a face (eg doll, teddy)
A toy or activity (eg skipping rope, jigsaw)
Something to make (eg art materials, science project)
Something pretty (eg necklace, earrings)
Something useful (eg underwear, bicycle pump)
Two other items specific to that child's interests and preferences
Each 'stocking' was unique (even the bag) and particular to that child.
So I had fifty items to source by late December. This is why I started in August. Often I was on the look-out for second-hand items (especially clothing, which was more expensive relative to budget then), but I still wanted the gifts to be special and lovely, so I started looking early.
In these days when we are trying to inch towards generating less waste, perhaps especially less plastic waste, and when people are drowning in mass-produced objects, there's been a move towards re-thinking gifts. Many minimalists prefer to give experiences over physical items — which I agree is a good idea but likely to be very expensive.
I think something you have made yourself is usually welcome and makes the recipient feel special. I have in the past sometimes made little booklets — A5 size (being A4 folded), 4 or 6 sheets of heavy A5 paper, the outermost one being card, fixed once made using a long-arm stapler — with pictures and quotations and funnies suited to their interests and style.
Hebe and Alice (two of our household members) often bake or make sweets or roast and flavoured nuts. We save up attractive glass jars from our regular grocery shopping, both for general re-use and for home made food gifts. Coconut oil and sauerkraut both come in jars we prize — large, wide-necked.
I like the idea of fabric instead of paper for wrapping gifts. One more step towards reducing waste and disposability.
Today I saw a bag on Pinterest that struck me as a brilliant way of presenting a gift — because the bag itself is lovely, and would form part of the gift as well as wrapping it beautifully. It's described as an Origami Bento Bag.
There's a blog post with instructions for making it here.
You can alternatively buy a PDF tutorial (instant download) with a set-by-step guide and template for the bag, from Etsy, here.
On the Etsy shop (Indigo Bird Design) there are lots of sewing patterns for bags (and other things), and the Origami Bento Bag has the pleasing feature of being very easy to make as well as a very attractive design.
So if you still give Christmas gifts, but are trying to head towards the distant star of zero waste and homemade gifts rather than factory-made items, I thought you might like to do as I used to and start in mid-August. You have 134 days until Christmas, and may need every single one of them.
Thank you for the reminder. Every year I say I am going to set aside the 25th day of the month for Christmas preparations and of course I forget. I have my granddaughter's birthday on 7th September and both Will and Pip share their day on 10th October. So it is mite for me to organise too.
ReplyDeleteWhen my children were little and sleep was so precious with three shift worked in their little lives I used to give them. new movie for Christmas morning. We went to church on Christmas Eve and I often worked nights so I could spend some of the day with them. Anyway they woke to the movie and a plate with their favourite croissants and juice boxes. On their beds would be a small stocking of little toys, sweets etc. My mother always told them she used to get an orange and nuts from Santa. They loved that special meal and it gave me a little headroom. As they grew older the gifts were set to a similar pattern. There were new toothbrushes and fancier toiletries for the girls, new clothes and possibly pyjamas, definitely a book, perhaps a new game and something they really wanted. I followed the verse: something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read. I told then that we were following the pattern that Jesus was given three gifts by the three kings.
I know of one family who gave their children their new school gear and nothing else for Christmas. School starts at the end of January here. I always thought that was very tough.
New school gear? Nooooo!
ReplyDeleteI love your idea of the special movie and delicious breakfast to start Christmas Day! What an excellent plan! Now that we have stopped giving birthday gifts in our household, what we usually do is spend the day together. On Alice and Hebe's birthday (they are twins) we went to the beach. On my birthday we usually watch a movie together. Sometimes we start the day with a festive birthday table to come downstairs to — flowers and fruit from the garden, and maybe some music playing.
Another good idea that came from Alice and Hebe is buying *yourself* a present instead of each person buying everyone else a present. They salt it away (wrapped up) for Christmas morning. That way a) everyone has a present, b) it's something they specifically want and, c) it's affordable to buy one nice thing but not several.
I didn't know the verse you followed — that's a good one!
you are not alone. i already have a basket in the closet with a few items that i've collected for holiday gift giving. my husband and i have already agreed to a 'charity shop only' christmas. that makes both of us get creative (i've already got my eye on a lovely flannel shirt for him!) and spend time searching for just the right gift. we'll have a special breakfast, light candles, open our few presents and enjoy a quiet day. the grown-up daughters and families get a small box (also with many charity shop items) plus a cheque. they both live far away, one on each coast, so we try to keep the shipping costs down!
ReplyDeleteInteresting to read your description of looking out for these things, searching for just the right gift. It's nice, isn't it? I welcome it. I remember seeing a chat show on television once, in which some young man (actor? media person?) told of how he had given his girlfriend a pair of emerald earrings for which he had paid £400. She threw them at him because she didn't like them. Being rich can be quite a serious affliction.
ReplyDeletei forgot to mention that i'm going to give that origami bag a try. while i don't have a sewing machine, i don't mind doing hand sewing at all. this looks simple to do and would be nice to keep a few on hand, ready for gift giving.
ReplyDeletethose poor rich people. what troubles they have! bet we have a lot more fun with our charity shop searches.
I think hand sewing it actually makes it more special. If you search on "bento bag pattern", there are several really nice variations using patches or reversible with contrasting fabrics etc. Yes, I think money and food are in essence the same thing; too little makes you suffer, enough is just right, too much makes you sick, hoarding requires an enema.
ReplyDeleteWhen I used to do Christmas, I would look in horror at the piles of paper coming off presents wrapped oftentimes only hours before. I went to cloth bags--simple drawstring things, not overly holiday ornamented. Mostly they stayed "in-house" so it was cool; they were collected and stored for next year. Now I seldom wrap things at all--usually things get a bow and that's it. Mostly I like to give experiences (show tickets, museum passes, or some such) so those go in a card, anyway. Call me cheap--I call it "eccentric." :)
ReplyDeleteDrawstring cloth bags — good plan! I like it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this share, Pen--for gift wrapping and some traveling odds and ends that currently end up all over the place in my packing.
ReplyDelete(You have a hilarious typo - 'muscle instrument'.)
ReplyDeleteI remember vividly Christmas mornings from childhood - the excitement and the joy and how special everything was. There was never a present in my stocking that I didn't love.
I do love my things. It's that thing Marie Kondo says about sparking joy. One of the biggest aha! moments for me in beginning to turn my big, slow ship towards decluttering was understanding that you don't just get rid of things you don't want; you can love something and still not keep it.
I absolutely delight in the handmade things that someone has put time and effort into preparing, crafting, writing, thinking through and editing. The work of my family's hands and brains brings enormous delight to me. When it's a book, CD or similar, the gift is in the shared humour, understanding and discovery.
But more than the things, it means something to me when I know someone thought about me and cared enough to try. Even when our elderly relatives gave us hilariously awful things, I loved that they had thought of us and tried to do something even though it was obviously difficult for them. I know people like to say ironically that it's the thought that counts, but for me it really is.
Hi Beth — yes, it would be excellent for travel, wouldn't it!
ReplyDeleteHi Buzzfloyd — Noooo (typo)! Thanks for the alert. I'll fix that.
About the getting rid of things despite loving them, yes, that's been my breakthrough too. How I think of it is loving the moon in the sky (but leaving it there) or loving the bird in the cage (but opening the door to let it go).
I've realised that very often (as in, *really* often) I make a purchase because I want to have a go with something rather than because I want to own it. This is especially true of clothes — perhaps also books. I do want them, but I don't want to keep them. I get, say, a dress, absolutely love it, wear it a few times, then move on imaginatively from that thing. Or I buy a book, have it on my shelves, pass it round the family at at some point get round to reading it myself, then usually I'm done. I used to feel guilty about this, as if it was wasting money, but I no longer think so. It does mean, of course, I am very well advised to buy clothes from eBay, 2nd-hand and as low a price as I can track down. If I was buying dresses from Toast at £275.00 I wouldn't get far! The ones I buy cost less than the train fare to Tunbridge Wells to look at the shops. But the things I've had a go with, I rarely sell but send to the hospice shop for them to make a bit of money, or I take books I'm done with to the air ambulance fund-raiser stall at Sainsbury's. I regard the purchase price as a rental fee, or an entry ticket to a happy game. The clothes I treasure and keep are intensely boring (eg cardigans and long-sleeved tops in quiet colours, and lace-up shoes); the ones that pass through fast are flowery dresses in unusual styles. I try to hang on to them just a *bit* longer than the two I recently bought, though! But another thing is I don't let myself be guilted into keeping them just because I bought them. The two "dressing gown" dresses, I considered keeping for nighties — then realised since I am short of space and didn't want any nighties, that would be stupid. So off they go.