If you run a tight ship with regard to your possessions, and choose to go through life taking only a few things with you, it is certain that sometimes you'll wish you still had that coat, feel annoyed with yourself for moving on that umbrella, buy a casserole dish identical to the one you gave away.
Is this a problem? I'm not at all sure it is, for two reasons.
Firstly, you never know which of the many items you (probably) buy are going to be the keepers. You haven't got a crystal ball (I imagine) and have no idea which ones will become the favourite travelling companions and which will be merely "meh" or an embarrassment.
In my opinion, it's better to regret getting rid of a few things than be sure you don't at the price of curating a stuff mountain for ever.
Secondly, I've tried to re-imagine the sums of money I part with as rental rather than purchasing, and that lifts away my sense of failure and inadequacy at wanting again what I got rid of before.
Back in the 1980s, it was normal to rent a television, and that's what our family did. I felt somewhat ambivalent about telly when my children were young, and we had stretches of time without one and then periods when we had one again. But there was no guilt attached to getting rid of the telly and re-acquiring one — because it was rented. I didn't think, "Damn! I wish we still had that telly!" I just phoned the rental company and asked them to bring a new one.
Every now and then (very rarely) I will pay full price for an expensive item, and those are usually things I feel sure I will want to keep for years (and even then I still get it wrong sometimes). Mostly I buy second-hand on eBay or wait for a half-price sale. That way, even if I get rid of the thing, wish I still had it and buy it again, all I'm doing is buying it half-price twice — so paying the full price once.
But, say I buy a jacket on eBay for £24, wear it half a dozen times and decide it's not really for me and pass it on, well, that's £4 an outing for that jacket. I'd pay more than £4 for a return bus fare into town, and I got to try out the jacket, and it'll make some money for the charity shop. And if, six months later still, I wish I still had that jacket and look out for one similar, and pay £27.99 to buy one again, well, so what? Both of them together will only have cost me £51.99, which is a lot cheaper than a jacket in a high street shop. And I will have kept the informal economy circulating, helped people working from home selling on eBay, helped a charity, kept two jackets out of landfill, and not cluttered up my wardrobe unnecessarily. I don't think one needs to feel guilty.
Here are two things I got rid of and then bought again, this year:
A sun hat. This was a good hat, and it fitted me well, but the lines of stitching around the crown always irritated me. I have no idea why. Put it down to my autistic tendencies. It was as annoying as getting wrinkles in the sticky-backed plastic when I'm making an address label. Irksome. So I got rid of it.
Then, inevitably, the summer came and I wanted a sunhat again. So I got a different on — and I tell you what, that isn't perfect either; but it'll do for now, and maybe I'll find a better one eventually.
And then I had these brown cords, which I bought second-hand on eBay.
They yo-yo-ed in and out of my quarantine box until it began to annoy me and I just moved them on. Then I wished I had them again, so I got a replacement pair half-price from Lands End. You have to be quick to miss a sale at Lands End; I doubt they ever sell anything half price. They must think there is something psychological to do with getting a bargain — pretend it's worth more and you've cut the price, and people will hurry to buy it. Well, I hope it works for them because their clothing is comfortable and long-lasting and well made; all things good. Apart from that cardigan that pilled so badly it wouldn't even do for the charity shop, so I donated it to our cat. He likes it.
I like your ideas about keeping and giving away things, and how to decide what to give away. Good points. I am going through my books this year and giving many away. I feel a bit lighter when I give things away.
ReplyDeleteYes, it makes a profi=und difference.
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