If
I think about how my mind works, I picture it as a series of parallel channels
(like tubes or cables), capable between them of holding an aggregate amount of
traffic – whether input, output or processing. I see the channels as separate
and coloured – blue, green, yellow, red – like stripes against a white ground,
within a fixed grid. The fixed grid is my capacity, the amount I can take on
mentally, beyond which I overload and crash the system.
The
channels can each carry different types of traffic, such as social interaction,
focusing on an idea/concept/subject of interest, administration (whether
household or professional), project work (editing or writing a book, creating a
funeral ceremony, preparing liturgy and a sermon, carrying out household tasks,
or processing emotional response to significant stressors).
In
my mind’s eye, the channels (stripes) expand or shrink in width according to
how demanding is the throughput. This does not necessarily have anything to do
with how much time something takes. For example, weeding the garden can be
time-consuming, but is calm non-stressful work, so it doesn’t absorb much
mental wattage. The channel (stripe) that correlates to gardening is therefore
only narrow, leaving much more of the fixed grid available to have other
channels running.
Writing
fiction, social interaction and preaching take up huge wattage. If I am writing
a book I may actually forget that people close to me even exist, and social
interaction is so stressful to me that its channel widens until it fills the
entire grid to capacity – and sometimes beyond, crashing the system.
Recent
events – national, international and within our home and family – have loomed
so large, appeared of such significance, that thinking about them expanded the
channel they ran through to the point where my being could accommodate nothing
else. Days went by when the only occupation possible, apart from processing
everything going on, was playing solitaire or carrying out the smallest routine
tasks – washing, washing up, putting out the garbage, chopping vegetables.
Cooking would have occupied too wide a mental channel; I stuck with ready meals.
Even
when I suspended as much other mental traffic as I could eliminate, I was still
finding the throughput threatened to overwhelm capacity and crash everything.
Because
of this, I’ve had to work hard at minimizing other sources of mental traffic in
order to process all that was happening without blowing a fuse (as it were).
This
is where the minimalism comes in.
I’ve
explored in a previous post the curious phenomenon that my possessions all
continuously speak to me – loud or quiet, all of them call to my attention all
the time. The only way to silence them is to get rid of them. This means that
owning things occupies one of my mental channels.
I’ve
found that the less I own, the more available for other considerations is my
mind.
So
in the recent highly stressful passage through the mountains, I found it
essential to ditch belongings in order to free up the mental capacity I required
to address everything going on.
I
have a strict limit on clothes – ten hangers in the wardrobe (no
bright-coloured garments, a box of sweaters, a short row of shoes, a small
compartmentalized drawer of underwear, hats, gloves, scarves etc).
I
also have
- a
Japanese teaset
- three
handbags
- a
shopping bag
- a
laptop
- a
Kindle
- an
umbrella
- toiletries
- a
small case (like a pencil case) storing electronic kit
- reading
glasses
- two
wooden stools
- a
stack of books waiting to be read then passed on
- a
stack of books and stationery for keeping
- about
three files associated with business finance
- earrings
- a
prayer shawl
- a
blanket
- a
cushion
- a
camping mattress + duvet and pillows
I
think that’s all. Even that is too much, really.
I
have found that I have to keep to only one category of clothing. In the past,
at different times, that’s been saris, Plain dress, skirts and blouses. But those
categories all had other considerations – Plain dress had hats, aprons, tights,
petticoats, and needed a iron. Saris do need petticoats, shawls and cholis, but
are actually one of the best categories for accommodating little space.
Problematic in cold, wet weather and snow, though. Shirts and
blouses need tights or leggings to go with, plus vests
(chemises/undershirts) for modesty – and you have to own an iron.
All
those items continually talk to me, and the ones in bright or light colours
shout – even in the wardrobe with the curtain drawn across so I can’t see them.
The only light colour that doesn’t shout is white/cream. Unless I have very few
garments in dark, solid colour, their continual chatter occupies too broad a
channel so I can’t think about anything else. If I had nothing else to think
about, I wouldn’t mind because I like clothes. But there’s been so much going down
– the Brexit vote, the awful complications of relating with my mother, the
constant worry of climate change, refugees, economic and political horrors,
fracking, trying to eat sensibly, budgeting money, the mind of God – that
unless I keep the clothes to the smallest darkest simplest minimum, they expand
to occupy too broad a channel and crash the system. So now I have dark trousers
and dark socks, dark tops, sweaters and jackets – all fitting on the ten
hangers and in the box and compartmentalized drawer. I check frequently to see
if I can minimize further, to further quieten my mind.
Actually
I’m worried about preaching tomorrow. I’m going to a church whose minister I
once was. About a fortnight after my previous husband died (I was their
minister then), their senior steward came to see me to tell me they didn’t like
the way I dressed, the way I preached, or the way I led Bible study. I found
them someone else for the Bible study, and always wore robes to preach after
that, but they did have to put up with my preaching and crafting of liturgy.
That was a long time ago. When I came back to Methodist preaching, I asked not
to be sent to them unless they specifically invited me, as I don’t want to
inflict myself on people who’d rather I wasn’t there. Well, they asked me to
preach for their chapel anniversary, so I said yes – but I’m worried they won’t
like my sermon or my clothes. I’ve stuck to just exposition of the set
lectionary texts, but I don’t know why they didn’t like my clothes in the first
place. I’ll just have plain black trousers, a cream vest top (sleeveless
t-shirt) and dark grey jacket, so nothing eye-catching, just a dark plain person if you see what I mean. Like a
stick figure (but fatter). But I don’t know . . . they’ll probably have a problem
with it.
However,
there’s nothing I can do about it, because if I start adding in tights and a
skirt and shoes that go with skirts to my wardrobe categories, the mental
channel then doubles and crashes the system because the other channels have
gotten so wide with all this stuff going on with my mother.
Sorry
that’s so long and rambling – in summary, the point is, the more extremely
minimalist I can manage to be, the more mind I have available to process
difficult aspects of life without becoming so traumatised I go into overwhelm
and cannot function. This is an aspect of minimalism I thought worth recording.
* * *
PS The things in the photo that you can see, other than in the wardrobe, all belong to my husband because we share this room.