I loved these two videos! So good. And yes, both of them resonated indeed. Been there!
Saturday, 1 August 2026
Thursday, 30 July 2026
Clarity, novelty, diversion, connection, minimalism
I wrote this down, read it through, thought about it overnight, read it again in the morning, published it, then unpublished it, thinking it sounded like a bit of an ain't-it-awful rant in which I hadn't managed to sharpen up what I wanted to say into something worthwhile. Then I saw the video I've put at the bottom, and thought at least that was worth saying. So here you are — pick out what resonates, leave the rest.
When I finished school, just before my eighteenth birthday, I stayed at home for my sister's wedding that summer, then I left. I loved my home and my mother, the village where we lived, but I had a road of my own to travel.
Until that time, since I was fifteen, I had worked various evening and weekend and school holiday (US 'vacation') jobs to give me some income of my own; I bought my own clothes and books and anything else I wanted, and put some money in savings. My jobs were in a supermarket and in care homes — one of them run by nuns.
Then I moved down to Devon, where I lived with some monks. They had a farm and a couple of cottages with a vegetable garden, and they ran the post office. In its small back garden was a caravan in a cabbage patch. They made the post office garage/shed into a chapel.
I lived in the caravan, helped with the cooking, milked the cow and made butter, helped take the produce from the garden to Bideford market to sell, helped with the post office remittance and served in the little village shop that contained the post office, and helped take care of the children from poor urban homes who came for country holidays and stayed at the farm.
It wasn't a paid job, just voluntary, so I lived on my savings until I moved on from there and went back to working for the nuns, living in their nurses' home until it was time to go to university in York.
After a year in university accommodation I became part of a nascent community —intentional. interdenominational, Christian. Father Fabian Cowper, an Ampleforth monk, was our chaplain.
I married not long before the community disintegrated, and moved down to Hastings where I raised my family. I was heavily involved with the Methodist church and the Ashburnham Stable Family (a Christian group devoted to revival in East Sussex), and later became first a preacher and then a minister. I spent my time with people in hospice care, men in prison, and with the faith communities where I preached and taught; and I was raising my children and writing books.
Looking back on all those years, I notice something.
I didn't have to think all that much about what I had or what I wore or how to occupy myself, because my life was full of people — and also animals and growing a garden, and the life of the mind associated with preaching and teaching and writing.
Thinking back to my mother's life, I saw a similar pattern. Born in 1927, she grew up on a Yorkshire farm that employed live-in horse-men, and housed German prisoners of war, and had a variety of other men associated with the farm work coming and going (mechanics, shepherds, men buying grain, pigeon fanciers, all sorts). So she had people all around her.
Later, when she got married and had a family of her own, she worked to create a property portfolio that included her own home. She spent every hour caring for her home, working in the garden, raising sheep and tending hens and processing the food she grew (or raised) for the winter.
Our possessions were very few.
When I left the monks in Devon I had a suitcase of belongings and some geraniums.
In my childhood, the ornaments in our home were mementos from my father's travels from around the world. My mother had two blouses, a cardigan, one skirt, one pair of trousers as her main everyday wear kit. We had very little. The only holidays we ever had were trips to Yorkshire to see our relatives.
As my mother grew old, having made money buying and selling houses, she began to acquire stuff and go on cruises and weekends away in hotels. I thought it was because she'd accumulated wealth and could afford it now. Obviously there was something in that, but now I think it was not the main driver of her choices.
For myself, I've noticed that in the last couple of decades I've spent a lot more money on things. I've never had much space for possessions to accumulate because of living in shared accommodation, so a pattern developed of acquiring then ditching belongings.
Thinking about all this in the last month as I have been systematically going through our home, taking it down to the minimum working kit so that we remain flexible in making choices, and the place is easy to care for as we grow old, I discerned a dynamic that I think has been at work in not only my own life but in the lives of almost everyone I know.
I have observed the rich, complex, all-hands-on-deck church communities I remember from years ago — that had morning and evening worship and many faith-centred weeknight groups and mission activities — dwindle to morning-only worship, pastors who have no time for people, and a bums-on-seats, finance-focused, numbers-based approach to church, with TV-style performance type of worship.
Neighbourliness has faded and gardens stand untended, full of weeds and junk people can't think how to dispose of. The people are inside and online. The doors are shut and they lock automatically, no longer standing open through the summer. It takes a long time to learn the names of your neighbours. When we had our local elections a few years ago, our next-door-neighbour Darren was elected as a borough councillor. In jubilation, I mentioned this to my next-door neighbour on the other side, as I saw her coming out of her house. She said: "Darren who?" Two doors away. Knew nothing about him.
As well as thriving on connection and interaction, human beings have a thirst for stimulus, variety and novelty. They now find these on the internet and by consuming 'experiences' and buying things.
My mother did this as she grew old. She transferred her lively interest in life to shopping and trips away. Driving around in her car visiting retail outlets and buying things kept her busy and happy.
And I — as my life was repeatedly uprooted by first my husband of 24 years leaving us for another family, then my second husband dying, then leaving my work and my family to relocate for a third marriage, then the onset chronic illness — became increasingly isolated.
I tried again and again to rebuild community and connection, because those are what we were made for; but it's not that easy any more, it no longer happens naturally.
And it occurs to me that a driving dynamic in modern life is the prevalence and increase of isolation and loneliness; people are easily suspicious of one another, consider each other in terms of social category not as individuals, drift apart.
As the new data centres accumulate, greedy for land and resources, already we are seeing the cost of computers and phones going up significantly. As government seeks ever increasing control, privacy/security risk driven by increased electronic surveillance handled by careless entities is steadily rising.
Homes are typically cluttered, and so are schedules. Burnout and chronic illness and neurological issues are prevalent.
When it comes to human relationship, even the word 'relationship' has come to mean 'sexual relationship', as if no other kind mattered.
It seems to me that in the near future we are going to have to find one another again, find our stimulus and novelty once more in human connection not in consuming, somehow rediscover how to sing together again (not just perform songs for money to passive consumers) and tell stories. The future, for ordinary people who value privacy, sanity and freedom, may very well once more be offline. To rediscover clarity of thought and peace of mind we will have to simplify our homes and our lives, move away from dependance on cars and computers and phones. To survive in harder times amid rising costs, habits of consumerism we hardly notice will have to be laid down.
I think change is coming, and the more simple and frugal and minimalistic are the habits we develop, the better we will thrive in the times to come.
Wednesday, 29 July 2026
Anglo Doorstep Collections
So last night I sent the evening drinking tea and watching the British Sewing Bee with Alice and Hebe, and then the first series of Celebrity Traitors (gripping!) and then we entirely filled my tiny car with their boxes and bags of bric à brac and textiles and books, and I drove it home and left it with everything in the car as a kind of storage locker overnight ready for the Anglo Doorstep man in the morning.
It's a brilliant system — UK friends, it's well worth looking to see if they collect in your area. You book a collection a couple of weeks in advance, or they notify you if they'll be coming by your area in a week's time so you can book with shorter notice. You can choose from a selection of charities to benefit from your donation. I chose the animal charity — the RSPCA.
You start sorting and packing your donations — the sort of thing you would send to sell in a charity shop, not just rubbish — into the three categories (bric à brac, textiles, books), and label the bags/boxes ready to go.
Three days before the collection they email a reminder.
The evening before the collection they send a two-hour time slot.
You can put your things out for them, or they will knock on the door to collect (good in wet weather).
On the day they notify when the driver is on his way, giving you twenty minutes to get ready, and the email has a real-time map showing the van moving to your house.
And then bingo! It's done!
Monday, 27 July 2026
Slowly but surely
Piece by piece, category by category, I have been working on simplifying and quietening my life.
I started with my bedroom, working through to reduce the number of things so that it looks not empty but calm.
The inbuilt cupboards are badly designed. The doors were huge but made of chipboard and hung on standard hinges. It doesn't take a genius to intuit that as a result they all sagged, however patiently often they were re-hung. So we took them off and I like it better.
Just at the moment the cup is employed in His Nibs's study, where he had a mug of tea to sustain him in the gruelling endeavours of writing fiction.
That's all I have to show you because what I cannot show you is what isn't there. The bags and boxes of things Anglo Doorstep Collections have kindly removed, and little things like the collection of earrings my granddaughter took to add to her own jewellery box, or big items like the pieces of furniture given away on the Hastings Give and Takery and Hastings Freegle.
Maybe I'll see you there.
Thursday, 23 July 2026
The wood and the trees
An expression my mother often used during my childhood was that someone "couldn't see the wood for the trees" — they were so distracted by detail that they lost sight of the big picture. They became confused and bogged down by minutiae.
I suppose one could say the same about that memorable encounter Jesus had at Bethany, in Lazarus's house with his sisters Mary and Martha.
Martha, the story says (I'm sure you'll remember it, if not it's here) was cumbered about with many tasks and wanted Mary to come and help her. Jesus just said to leave her in peace because she'd made the better choice: “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
The many, the few, and the one. I wrote about that here, back in 2012, and here in 2019. But it's complicated, and isn't that the whole point.
An essential component of spiritual pathway is being able to step free of complication.
When it comes to Mary and Martha, you can't really blame Martha or look down on her for her choices, because she was doing what she was supposed to do. Getting supper for all those men who were listening to Jesus in the mens' part of the house was her job as a woman — and it was complicated and difficult and stressful. She naturally resented Mary, whose job it also was, but who had chosen instead to go into the mens' part of the house and do what the men were doing — sit down and listen to the teacher while someone else made their supper.
So there are gender issues involved here, it's not all about simplicity.
Even so, Jesus grew up in the same culture, but like Mary he could still see the wisdom in the priority she chose. To make that choice, she had to ignore the trees in order to obtain the vision of the wood — to set aside the endless restless detail that forever claims attention in order to focus on the bigger picture.
Something of this nature is embedded in the practice of minimalism.
Many practitioners of minimalism say that their possessions are continually shouting at them, calling to them. They really mean this, as I know because I am one of those who shares the experience. It's as though every object in the home is constantly and quietly talking. I have no other way to describe it than that, you'll either immediately know what I mean or find it baffling.
I find it useful and welcome. For instance, I forget to take my MCT oil if I don't leave the bottle on the counter. If I put it back on the shelf with the other oils and spices, its voice subsides into the confused general mutter of that shelf, but if I leave it out then I can easily recognise it saying, "Here I am. Look. Here I am. Hineni." [If you don't know that word it's explained here.]
The dynamic for me is very straightforward, that the less I have the more my environment quietens down so the better I can think and the clearer is the path to establishing my priority.
Now I'm a bit bothered about the idiom I began with, because I can't help noticing this means that if you remove the trees you'll have a better view of the wood, and that can't be right can it?
Also with Martha and Mary, there is the little matter of what would have happened if both Mary and Martha had sat down to listen to Jesus and talk theology with the men. Eventually they'd have finished listening and talking and it would have been time for supper — and then what? I don't suppose they had Deliveroo and a helpful Indian takeaway in first century Bethany.
Even so, I stick stubbornly to my point; insist upon it, even. If my possessions are kept to the bare minimum, the fewest that I can get away with and still function in the real world, and if my schedule is uncluttered and my plans are uncomplicated and my commitments are few, then I think better and choose more intelligently and prioritise more wisely.
How you dispose this in your own life depends on your circumstances.
Here's a woman talking about this with regard to how she organises and stores her clothing. She makes the interesting point that time, space and money are determinants directing your choices.
Wednesday, 22 July 2026
"This is not for me."
I wish I could remember where I came across this thought so I could accredit it, but in the last week I have listened to such a variety of people on a dedicated spiritual path that I cannot remember which of them said it. The best I can do is to acknowledge that it was not my own thought, and if I come across it again I'm come back and leave a note so you know who said it.
It cropped up in a YouTube video/podcast, in which the person was commenting on the by now highly toxic polarity that has taken hold of our society — people listening only to the voices of their own tribe, and attributing to those who they've categorised as enemies every imaginable kind of nastiness, including projecting their own nastiness onto them.
As a result, it has become almost impossible to have a calm and constructive conversation about ideological issues, battle lines being drawn in bold and underlined for good measure, as they are.
And this YouTuber suggested that we'd do well just now to drop any categorising of approaches as "right" or "wrong". They said that instead of saying "you're wrong" or "this is wrong", we might instead choose to say, "it's not for me."
I really love that. "Judgement is mine, saith the Lord," and if we simply say "it's not for me", we make our position clear without standing in judgement over someone else's choices.
As a way forward, I have the feeling it would import peace and calm into our discourse. I'm thinking that we should embed it into not only our conversation but also into our discipline of thought. So we might encounter evidence of someone's promiscuity or carelessness with money or addiction or vulgarity, and silently make the choice, "this is not for me."
My hunch is that it would help build our own resolve as well as refraining from condemning the other, because the words speak right into our own life as a warning, a helpful admonition, the setting of a boundary.
Conversely, when we encounter something that resonates for us, that stands out as desirable and good, instead of pronouncing it to be right we can simply acknowledge our accord: "This is for me", like Joshua, when instead of making pronouncements upon the lives of others, he simply said,
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." [Joshua 24.15]
What do you think?
Tuesday, 21 July 2026
Compline on Wednesdays 9pm UK time
I'm delighted to see that David Towns of Monastic Retreats is offering the opportunity to join in saying Compline together every Wednesday evening at 9pm UK time (GMT +1, otherwise known at BST).
There are two ways to join in.
You can go through the page on the Monastic Retreats website here, with the advantage of having the words given on the page for you to follow, or you can go in via the YouTube channel here.
If you want to see what it will be like, here is last week's YouTube video:
Providence, freedom, security
At one time (nearly fifty years ago) I had a certain amount to do with the Carmelites at Ware in Hertfordshire. I remember vividly an occasion when one of the sisters there said to me — laughing — that they were supposed to live in holy poverty, but they consistently experienced difficulties with that because they lived so simply and frugally that they kept accumulating money.
That, right there, is a key.
In the shelves on my room, I have 2 calligraphies by Thich Nhat Hanh — also a monk (but Buddhist, not Catholic) who lived in simplicity, frugality and recollection.
His calligraphy that I have as stickers on my pencil case says STABILITY and FREEDOM.
Habits of simplicity, frugality, minimalism, however you choose to style it or call it, lead to that — stability and freedom — but I prefer to think of it as security and freedom.
I think this is why there is such a strong emphasis on it in the New Testament. Jesus was born into a race of people whose lives had forever been uncertain, reliant on the providence of God. The place he was born was under Roman occupation, and Joseph had to take him out of the country to Egypt for a while to dodge the violence of King Herod.
This tells me a lot about Joseph. He was resilient, cautious, provident, and watchful; and he paid attention to his dreams, listened to the voice of God. We can learn how to live from Joseph. His habits led to security and freedom.
Since the Second World War, we have made a slow journey away from cautious providence towards consumerist materialism that has left many of us in debt and drowning in an accumulation of possessions. Many of us live from one pay check to the next, not able to see how to get out of that into security and freedom, and with the psychological muscle to do so significantly atrophied.
Here's a picture taken from my bedroom window of the houses of ordinary people on a Hastings hillside.
It speaks to me of the times we have lived through and the times we are moving into.
Those little homesteads are looking at bright sunshine, but behind and above them the storm clouds are gathering.
A few weeks ago I listened to a podcast by Pastor Chris Wickland, who is interested in provident habits and national life; he said that in times of adversity the people of God should not just survive, they should thrive.
That struck a chord with me.
If you read through the New Testament — the gospels, the book of Acts, and the pastoral epistles — looking for teaching about frugality, simplicity, minimalism and providence, you'll find much food for thought.
St Paul teaches about freedom, cautioning us to be equally yoked (or as we put it nowadays, singing from the same hymn-sheet), and to think twice about entering a marriage because it brings responsibilities.
He teaches us to owe no-one anything except the debt of love, and "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life; you should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody" [1 Thess.4.11-12 NIV].
The early chapters of the book of Acts go into some depth about the habits of simplicity and generosity within the household of faith: "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. ... God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need." [Acts 4.30-36]
This is the difference between providence and greed. Each one lived frugally and simply, not in order to get rich but in order to share and provide for one another. That's what the Carmelites at Ware were doing.
Jesus considered this in his parable of the Rich Fool [Luke 12.13-21 NIV]:
[Jesus said] “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”
And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’
“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’
“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’
“This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”
We see it all around us. People spending up to the hilt, maxed out on credit cards, accumulating possessions, needing bigger houses to make room for all their stuff. And Jesus says God thinks this is stupid.
I think it is time to review, appraise, prepare. Time for "danshari".
It's time to meditate on the path of St Joseph — capable, provident, responsive, protective, listening for the voice of God.
I was thinking this was just in my own life, but I am wondering now if this is a wider thing than just me. Time to prepare. Time to get ourselves into a position where we are best placed to thrive, not just survive, to meet our own needs and help others who are in want. To get out of debt and free of encumbrance. Like Joseph, like the Carmelites at Ware, to walk steadily in the way of security and freedom.
What do you think?
Monday, 20 July 2026
A question that made me think
There's a YouTube channel I enjoy, called Sven's One Bag Life.
This afternoon I was watching a video on this channel, in which Sven was discussing the possibility that a one-bag lifestyle might not be as extreme as people tend to think. I'll leave his video at the bottom of this blog post in case you think you too might like to listen to what he has to say.
In the course of the video, he asked a question that I found arrestingly intriguing — so much so that I stopped listening to him for a while because I was thinking about his question.
Now, I expect that you — like me — have on various occasions been in groups of one kind or another where someone has asked what you would grab to take with you if the house was burning down.
Since the answer is obviously the kids and the pets, but if they have already got out before you then anyone in their right mind would take the keys for the car and house, their wallet with cards and ID, a warm top layer and a pair of shoes, their phone and their specs, the question is fairly redundant. Any person who stopped to gather up their wedding photo album, their mother's jewellery and their knitting project, would probably inadvertently collect their Darwin Award as well. So it's an irritating question.
But that's not what Sven asked.
He said, if you had to leave home, and had only thirty minutes to pack one bag, what would you take?
Clearly, an organisational window of thirty minutes is a very different proposition from fleeing a burning building in a panic.
It made me think — not only of what I would take, but (crucially) what I would decide to leave behind, and why.
This is what I thought.
- I would take the small essentials that would apply to the burning building scenario — the ID, the wallet, the keys, my phone (and charger), and my spectacles.
- I would dress in my most versatile clothes and wear the shoes that work for the most situations. And I'd include a second outfit (underwear, t-shirt, trousers, sweater) plus a gilet and hat and gloves in case I got cold.
- I'd take the natural meds that keep my system working well.
- My computer is small, neat and portable, so I'd take that (and its charger).
- I might add in my water bottle and my bedside light (it's only about the size of a shot glass or large egg cup) and charger.
Friday, 17 July 2026
Can I live with one less?
Josh Becker asks a genius question.