Wednesday 3 December 2014

Why you should be nice to people

There’s this clothes shop chain – Sahara. I absolutely love their clothes. They sell Lagenlook-type boxy linen things, in natural earthy colours, real art-to-wear.

There’s a branch of Sahara in most of my favourite towns. There’s one in York, one in Tunbridge Wells, one in lovely Cambridge. Back in the day it would be a dead cert that if I saw a Sahara shop, in I would go.

But something changed all that.

I can’t even remember what town we were in. I was with Hebe and Alice, and we had gone happily into a branch of Sahara to look at the lovely clothes. Alice had found some beautiful garment and wanted to try it on. The shop was very full and the changing room provision minimal.  The place where Alice went to try on her things appeared to be a changing cubicle – it had a curtain round and everything – but within it was the door to a cupboard. Fair enough. And Alice had got undressed and was putting on her chosen things when the sales clerk came along and said we couldn’t go in there, it was the entrance to the stock cupboard. She was to leave, and leave right now. Undressed or not.

Personally I don’t give a flying fig who sees me in whatever state of undress – I don’t know why, I’m just like that. I ought to have made a living posing for life classes, except I don’t like being either chilly or uncomfortable. But my daughters are all very modest people, very private. That sales clerk caused distress.

It was all long ago and the details have faded beyond recollection. But I lost the taste for Sahara on that day. I’ve never been into a single branch anywhere ever since. I don’t even buy their clothes on eBay. I just don’t like them any more.

I saw some Sahara garment advertised on the internet today. Immediate reaction – ‘Oh! Sahara! Yes, I know them. That was the shop where . . .’

How odd to think that such a fleeting thing could have had such a profound and lasting consequence.


15 comments:

BLD in MT said...

As a modest young lady I, too, would have had quite a time with this scenario. It seems you've found plenty of other comfy, earthy garb from other sources. All for the best, perhaps.

I recently re-met a fellow I took classes with in college. He looked familiar and I told him so. He said something along the lines of "Yeah, we were in college together. You ripped me a new one in front of the whole class once." And I was mortified. Oh, heavens...there are people in this world who remember me as a jerk. I was so passionate at the age and didn't care enough about tact or common ground. It was a very humbling reminder for me to always try to be a nicer person.

Rebecca said...

I an identify with that, my dear....
Certainly one - among MANY - reasons "why you should be nice to people"! :)

Rapunzel said...

Ha! It's the odd little things that stick to us. All the times we were naming babies I would never consider naming a child of ours either Jerry or Terry because of the mean boy across the street when I was a wee tot. Cannot at all remember which twin was the mean one, so my stubborn brain rejects both names depite the fact that the other twin was a lovely fellow.

Pen Wilcock said...

Beth - ah yes, there are incidents from my life that I look back on with horror! xx

Rebecca - waving! xx

Jen Farrant said...

I don't consider myself modest at all (although others possibly would do) and I would have been HORRIFIED at that and too would never have gone back to the store.

Pen Wilcock said...

:0) xx

Pen Wilcock said...

Rapunzel - just found your comment - it had snuck into my spam! Yes - what you say about this boys - that's exactly what I mean. xx

Jenna said...

Since working in market research for many a year, I surely know that businesses have to work very, very hard to gain goodwill--and can lose it in an instant. Of all the areas they train employees, they spend precious little time in "customer service." It is an art.

Bean said...

I too have shopped a few places in my lifetime where I was treated rudely and unreasonably by a staff member and I have never returned.
As they say, you will attract more flies with honey than vinegar, and I find that to be true in most situations.

LANA said...

I am sorry you and yours had that negative experience. I am thinking that perhaps it was just the nasty salesgirl and the owner would have been upset knowing she spoke to you that way. When people get nasty with myself or my loved ones, my self-righteous button goes on and I tend to tell them a thing or two. I wish I could be nicer. Would not let one rude person spoil my enjoyment of beautiful clothes, or anything. Well think of all the money you have saved by not buying their clothes!

Pen Wilcock said...

:0) Hi friends! Thanks for your comments.

Lana, I was intrigued you said: "Would not let one rude person spoil my enjoyment of beautiful clothes, or anything."
I admire that, but I don't really know - speaking personally - how to do it. For me, once the thing had happened, the relationship with that retailer was just spoiled. I wasn't really aware of letting it happen, and I don't really know how to not let it happen. Of course I know I could go into that chain of shops and buy from them again, but I don't know how to make the sour note not be there. xx

Marieke said...

Just go there again and see what happens. Give them and yourself another chance. Think of all the many other, probably very lovely people involved in designing and making these clothes behind the screens!


Pen Wilcock said...

:0) I see what you mean, Marieke, but the thing is I just don't want to go there. It isn't really an issue because of two things - one, I can't now remember which town the shop was in; and two, I no longer shop on the high street - I shop second-hand on eBay nowadays. xx

Marieke said...

I never buy my clothes on high streets either. Since I was nineteen I have been sewing them myself. Very simple linen trousers and dresses/tunics.
They have become a part of me. I wear them while working in the garden or, to point out the opposite, going to a party. The shoes or a lovely shawl make the difference.
So, the only person that can be rude to me while trying something new is myself.
And I can be nasty while looking in the mirror! Luckily I know I can also be a nice person so I always forgive myself and I also try to see the good in other people. It often is just a moment of rudeness with them and most of the time you are not even the true subject of causing their misbehaving.
I totally agree with you on the impact such a dreadful incident can have but I do get an even more uncanny feeling when people approach me with a plastic smile!

Pen Wilcock said...

Marieke, that made me laugh! The thought of you being nasty to yourself in the mirror, and the uncanny feeling of a plastic smile approaching! Yes indeed!
It gives me a sense of deep contentment and happiness that you have found your way to dressing in a style that is really *you* - not a clothes horse but a person. So that it is *you* working in the garden and *you* going to the party - only a little touch here and there needed to dress for the occasion. Some women live their whole lives without achieving that. Well done! xx