Thursday, 23 August 2012

Grey is okay applied judiciously

Everyone’s reading 50 Shades of Grey it seems (and no, sorry, I didn’t give you a live link to Amazon there); but not me.

I like sex.  In private, with my husband.  I am happy for you if you like sex too – in private, in the context of your own permanent, stable and faithful intimate relationships.

But.

I don’t want to see explicit sex on TV, or read about it in novels, and any comedian waxing lyrical upon the subject of orgasms, masturbation or coming home drunk and full of hope that his wife will be keen to avail him of his conjugal rights, simply short-circuits the evening because I leave the room or turn the telly off.

Just saying.

Why?  Because my youngest daughter put me onto this wonderful YouTube video by Ellen DeGeneres.  This friend speaks my mind!  “Don’t eat the pancakes.” Quite so.





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365 366 Day 235 - 237
Wednesday August 22nd - Friday August 24th  


Three breakfast bar stools, rendered unnecessary when we ripped out the breakfast bar (moment of silence for internal resounding cheer).


365 366 Day 234 – Tuesday August 21st   



Sometimes giving things away is absolutely fab.  I Freecycled this fishing chair, and received the following email from the lady who collected it:
"Thank you very much for the fishing chair you have made our young son very happy as he has just started to go fishing with his Dad and he now has his own chair to sit on He’s actually having his lunch on it now. Nicky".
Well, ain't that just the best?

365 366 Day 233 – Monday August 20th 


This is known as a companion set.  Some companion, eh?

365 366 Day 232 – Sunday August 19th 


Oh, Lordy.  Lost count of how many of these I've given away.

365 366 Day 231 – Saturday August 18th 


In this book I wrote down everything I know about how to make life work well.  I'm solvent, I'm happy, I do the work I love, my family love me and I love them, I find life entirely fulfilling and a constant source of wonder.  Some people think I'm just lucky.  Or you could read this book.  I had some review copies and I bought some too.  I gave them away.  I hope they made a difference.

365 366 Day 230 – Friday August 17th 


A belt.  I don't like it.  That's why I gave it away.  Plus, my waist relates better to elastic. 


25 comments:

Julie B. said...

There is nothing that could tempt me to read that book. I value the property of my mind and thoughts too much to engrave something there that I'd forever regret.

I like Ellen's hair. :)

I would have taken your bar stools.

xxoo

BLD in MT said...

Oh did this post make me laugh!!! That 50 Shade of Gray nonsense is just wild isn't it?! The writing is terrible and I don't know how anyone owns up to reading it without a blush! I had a student read it at the front desk of the library and every time I saw it I thought I couldn't imagine reading erotic...in PUBLIC! I guess perhaps I am a prude. Sex is fine between consenting, loving adults....but why must it be all up in my face with nasty, frivolous lust that seems, evidently, socially acceptable?! (This post also made me think of Jabez's thoughts that making love should be done in a bed!)

One of the members of my book club suggested reading 50 Shades as a way to encourage some of the reluctant readers. It made me shudder to think about.

BLD in MT said...

Oh and may I say that I quite enjoy your cap today. Or perhaps it is a scarf?

Ember said...

Hi Julie, hi Beth :0)

I'm totally with you on the book, Julie! They were jolly good bar stools and you could have had them with much love x

Beth - it is a cap now. It used to be a scarf, but the long thin sort. I never wear scarves any more round my neck, only the head sort, so the old favourites like these get remodelled. As have one or two tea-towels. Do you call them tea-towels in the States? Drying up cloths.

Ganeida said...

There's a reason I read lots of children's books. No sex. Sorry but I don't want to see it, hear it, read about it or watch it. It's private. End of.

Ember said...

I can see a place for oblique reference, but not for these graphic, fly-on-the-wall accounts!

Rapunzel said...

I so wholeheartedly agree with you all and Ellen. I've always felt sex is just not meant to be a spectator sport.
And all I EVER want to hear about anyone else's sex life is if it happened to produce any particularly cute babies.
Like Ganeida I love children's books, and their lack of sex (I avoid the authors who feel children's books need sex!)
We may all be from another planet compared to most of society. If so, I think it must have been a particularly good planet.

Wimmera said...

maybe the next best seller would be 50 shades of brown(a.k.a family cloth

Ember said...

Absolutely, Rapunzel!

Wimmera - don't even put the thought into their heads!!!

Nearly Martha said...

I am astonished by the sucess of this book. I know how old and decrepit this makes me but I don't care.

Ember said...

Ah. I think in fact that lack of reticence about what is rightly private is a characteristic associated with the synapses in the brain that develop in elderly people, and lascivious outpourings may be connected to the anxiety about sexual inadequacy that can creep up on a person in middle age.
However, as E.L.James was born in 1963 and I, born in 1957, consider myself a mere child, that can't be her problem can it? Maybe it's the money she likes, or the attention . . who can say?
Are you reading this Buzzfloyd? You usually have something intelligent and enlightening to say.

Buzzfloyd said...

What people enjoy in their fantasy lives may bear no relation to what they would enjoy in real life, but I find it extraordinary that so many people are prepared to publicly read erotica, as BLD says. I haven't read it, so my opinions on it are based on second hand information, but from people whose assessments I trust.

There are two things that I dislike about this 50SOG business. The first is that I find it very disquieting that our society is currently so obsessed with dominance in sexual relationships. Look at all the vampire stuff that is out there at the moment (and 50SOG started life as a Twilight fan fiction, which says plenty about both). Have people missed that vampirism is metaphor for rape? Why are we glorifying this?

50SOG also purports to be about a dom/sub sexual relationship; but people who are the kind of sex featured in the book are always stringent in their safety measures, checking that it's OK before carrying out any act on a person, ensuring that everyone is aware of the 'safe' word that will bring everything to a halt, and so on. None of this is featured in 50SOG - it pretends to be about kinky sex, examining why some people enjoy adopting those personas, but it's actually about abuse. If you are given the submissive role with no clear exit route, it's not a game, it's abusive.

Never mind reading about sex, why is a book that glorifies abuse on the bestseller list?

My other problem with it is that it infuriates me when bad writing is elevated. There are so many better writers out there, so why do we have to flood the market with dross?

Ember said...

There! I knew you'd have something good to add to this conversation! Thank you! x

Sherry said...

Well, I um, laughed my, um sitting for a spell place off. Thanks for the laugh!

Amy Danielle said...

Oh my word! Ellen's clip cracked me up! hahaha!

BLD in MT said...

The library where I work was, briefly, considering adding this title as is so absurdly popular. We previewed a copy and the writing was so lousy that we quickly decided there was no way on earth we were spending our limited budget on it.

That adds another layer to my incomprehension at its popularity. It would be one thing if it was an excellent work of literature that happens to contain sex and bondage. But, a badly phrased, badly written one? No way....

Ganeida, that's one of the things I love about children's literature, too. Its hard to find such wholesome, endearing stories in the adult world sometimes! (Though they do exist! The Clear Light of Day by the talented Penelope Wilcock being one example.) Have you ever read Amish fiction, per chance? Perhaps its not a big genre outside of the US, but as far as wholesome adult literature I've always enjoyed them. Good Christian fiction....a book you can read in public! : )

Pen, you are so clever to transform your scarves into caps! I love it! Hmmmmm.....I wonder if I have an old scarf that needs a transformation. Yes, we call them tea towels as well. That is a grand idea. Thanks!

Ember said...

Hi Sherry, hi Amy - made me laugh too :oD

Beth - who of Amish fiction writers would you recommend? I've tried a couple because I thought the covers looked so pretty, but found them fairly tedious so far.

Alison Wellby said...

Hi I'm new here! Found you via nearly martha's blog. Our society's obsession with sex is based on fantasy ... the media portrayal is so unrealistic. Which is why I wrote my book 'Impenetrable'. About time someone told the truth ...

Ember said...

Right. Comment Take Two. Second Thoughts.

How good to meet you Alison. I love nearly Martha's blog. I went across to have a look at your book on Amazon - vaginissimus! Now there's a topic to broaden the conversation!

Thank you for dropping by and letting us know about it :0)

Bean said...

I agree with you totally. I much prefer to read books that are well written rather than some smutty trash.
Often the most popular books are not very good but they have been marketed well. And unfortunately the more outrage/controversy there is only seems to boost sales every higher.


Bean

Ember said...

Yes indeed x

Julie Graff said...

Ember, the world has gone so sex-crazy, I don't think anyone knows what sex IS anymore. We are as good as extinct!

Ember said...

You think? Every other species will surely heave a sigh of relief!
God looked on all that He had made, and saw that it was good . . . and then . . . uh-oh . . .

Anekha said...

Hi Ember. I am 30 and I totally agree with your sentiments on this. I don't think its an age thing. I feel it is an extremely private thing that is sacred and requires reverence. It is between husband and wife and requires no discussion. I see it as an expression of love and so also don't feel the need to overthink technique or have lots of bells and whistles and props. I think that overcomplicates it. It makes me seem somewhat a prude but that's not it really. I just believe in and practice CHASTITY. that means no sex outside marriage and respectful and private monogamous sex within my marriage. Its no one elses business and frankly I would find this book rather boring. I always think of the obsessive occupation with sex as humanity sinking more towards its animal base instincts and I imagine that is why anyone spiritually inclined with their thoughts turned to God tends not to "get it"
this book Makes me think of Lady Chatterlees Lover. What a scandal that was in its day. I actually found it rather boring. People have sex... you would think after all these thousands of years we would get over it!

Ember said...

Hi Anekha - yes, I think the mainstream attitude to these things is upside down. To flaunt sex at every end and turn does not make it more exciting and stimulating, but less. To keep it private and intimate makes it more special and enjoyable. Also, in my opinion, sex is improved by faithfulness. To be able to trust your partner is important in relaxing and self-giving, and these are necessary for the body to enjoy sex properly.