Thoughts on modesty

This may be a ladies-only post. But since we are talking primarily about old ladies, I doubt there is anything to titillate or disturb. I leave it up to you. 

Modesty is something I think about from time to time. I can't say I exactly have an opinion about it — more instincts, shall we say?

For a while, about fifteen years ago, I wore what Americans call Plain Dress — like the clothing of the Conservative Quakers/Mennonites. Simple cotton full-skirted long-sleeved dresses that buttoned high, and kapps (simple bandana-esque headwear), and aprons. I liked it. I had an accord with those clothes. I felt as though they enclosed me in peace, as though they had their own persona inside which I could shelter as one might within vestments or a uniform, like a snail at peace inside its shell.

This was me sometime around 2010.

But it didn't work out. I have to take steps to conceal my naturally occurring oddness as it is, and I discovered that this merely accentuated it. An elderly man, bored, tagging along with his wife out shopping in Marks and Spencer, sidled up to me and murmured meaningly: "Do you live in Robertsbridge?" I don't as it happens, but a Bruderhof community (ex-Hutterites) does. I was accosted by holiday Americans in the London Underground station, wanting to connect with the signals I was inadvertently broadcasting. At a retreat I was leading, an elderly lady felt the need to emphasise that people shouldn't be allowed out wearing such clothing because others have to look at them.

I wanted peace, and this wasn't it. Happily I have Plain-dressing friends across the Atlantic, one of whom was kindly willing to take receipt of my dresses. 

I went back to the usual old-lady gear of capacious trousers in stretch fabrics, and wooly jumpers. Sometimes when I'm travelling I wear the hats I made. I take a spare or two, because the ex-hippy variety of elderly lady often expresses enthusiasm for my hats, so I give her one; thus I am gradually moving them out of my life. This is how to make them.

Modesty, then, for me these days, is vested mainly in my invisibility. My clothing is quiet and plain (but not Plain), designed to neither emphasise nor reveal, only to cover, and to keep me warm. I wear women's clothing but not girly clothing, if you see what I mean. Deep, quiet colours without prints or patterns. Long sleeves. No sheer fabrics, no plunging necklines, nothing that shows my arms or legs.

Leggings are on trend in this present time. Hastings (where I live) being a poor town, many people eat mostly carbohydrate (it's cheap), and are often obese in consequence. I see the ladies out in their leggings stretched tight around their nether regions, and I do my best to limit my response to nothing more than "Hmm." Whatever my own preferences with regard to modesty, I try to remember that other people's are none of my business.

But there is this conundrum I have. It's like a small tangle in the knitting yarn, that I am struggling to undo. Perhaps Our Lady Untier of Knots will come to my aid.

It's this.

I am no longer willing to wear the kind of bras that are smaller than my own body, and thus keep the boob area under tight control.

My midsection is — shall we say — comfortable. Squashy, even. My boobs have moved south during the passing years. I have this kind of fleshy frontage that declares more of my anatomy than I would really wish were the case, during the summer months. It's because I like soft fabrics (neurodivergent) and wear t-shirts, and yes, they do drape.

Winter is OK, because I wear voluminous wooly jumpers that provide an extra layer. Summer clothing is the issue. It's been so hot; two layers are one too many.

I am a woman, but I have no desire to eye-catchingly remind everyone I meet of the fact.

Woven garments in linen or cotton drape less and help circumvent the issue, but you do have to iron them and I am sick of ironing. I gave both our iron and the ironing board away.

Mostly I am just on my own at home, so who cares? But in the near future I am to go and see a clergyman I haven't met before. Modesty, in such an encounter, is important to me.

So I've put a bid on this garment on eBay. It's only £3.31 and no one else wants it.

That should do the trick, don't you think? Veil my sinking assets without generating too much stifling heat?

I can't believe I'm even thinking about this at my age.