Monday, 10 August 2026

Them, You, Nobody and Everyone

Call me old-fashioned, but I think a title/cover should give some vague clue as to content. 

An idea seems to have seized the YouTube community that it is somehow intriguing to make an eye-catching cover/title for a video that is loosely in the same category as the GASP! and POW! and ZAP! that used to feature in kid's comics. A stark, bold, attention-grabbing exclamation that gives you no idea what's in the video. I mean, imagine these (taken on one random foray into YouTube this morning) as the spines of the books on your bookshelf:

Nobody Talks About These

You Are Not Crazy

Make Everyone Look

Are You Too Nice?

Let Them Think You Failed

Nobody Eats Out

What It Means For You

This Is Why You're Stuck

You'll Never Be The Same

Wu Wei You Got it Wrong

"Do Not Buy A House"

This Is Why They Mistreat You

We Didn't Want To Share This

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

They Killed The Internet

Your Doctor's Hands Are Tied (and You Don't Know It)

A quick refresh of the page. Here we go again.

Everyone is Full of Shit!!!

Remove It Without Telling Anyone

Nobody's Okay

You'll Never Be The Same

Do This

Stop Putting It Off

Don't Enable These

Why Journaling Doesn't Feel Fun Any More

That's just the Presumptuous Shelf. The main effect these title have on me, apart for a sense of irritation/impatience, is making me want to argue with their assumptions about who I am and what I think.

"You'll Never Be The Same" — as what? How do you know what I am now? 

"Wu Wei You Got it Wrong" — how do you know? You have never met me. You cannot possibly know what my understanding is of the Taoist concept of wu wei

"We Didn't Want To Share This" — No? Keep it to yourself, then. Let me not intrude. I won't bother watching it.

"Are You Too Nice" No. No chance.

But the Presumptuous shelf, making assumptions about my procrastination and thought processes and relationship with my doctor, sits right above the Paranoid Shelf with its gasp shock horror exclamatory even sillier nonsense pronouncements:

It Finally Arrived

And So It Begins 

Good Luck With This

This Is Bad

This Kills 1,200 People Each Day

This Makes No Sense

This Has To Stop

It's All A Lie

It's Happening

It's Worse Than You Think

This Just Got Much Worse

They Are Everywhere

Total Chaos

Not Worth It (Anymore)

It's Harder Now

I Have Stopped

It's Over

[on a carnivore channel] Just Eat Cake

Nothing is Happening?

The Hidden Truth

It Worked

This is Epic

Over It
 

I mean, for goodness sake! It's ludicrous. Whatever has happened to people? Is this twaddle AI generated or have the humans lost their minds all by themselves?

Even the subtitles often illuminate nothing.

Title:

Don't Make My Mistake

Subtitle

I'm 44. I Wish I Understood This At 30

Understood what?

How to change a fuse? How to make meringue? Stages of neurological development? The cheapest way to obtain a train ticket? How to avoid a rip tide? Dog training? We just don't know. Zero clue given. Picture of a plump bearded man in a hoodie and spectacles sitting at his desk occupies all the space not taken up by the large red letters of the title blazed across the screen.

Give me strength.

No comments: