"The thing is, Martin, unfortunately everyone else has gone out today and left me alone to look after you. And what you have to understand about me (but nobody will have told you, because why should they and because they are so used to me) is that I am not entirely sane. They know this, but they are busy. They hope for the best and have left the responsibility for you with me.
"It's not that I am indifferent to your well-being; far from it. Every fibre of all of me is painfully, utterly alert to the sound of you digging, whistling, hefting heavy bags, working hard. I am absolutely aware. You assume, in my consciousness, giant proportions.
"The problem is not that I don't care. It's that, as things are with me just now, I can hardly bear to leave my room. The prospect of interaction with another human being makes me feel physically sick. I can't face opening an interface between your soul and mine — your eyes, your voice, your smile. Even thinking of it makes my interior environment dissolve into running for shelter and multiple random directions, screaming.
"I am so sorry. I have told you, not just once but repeatedly, to come in and help yourself, to make your own drink. I know this is unusual and that your expectations of yourself and the rest of the human race will make this difficult for you to do. But it would help me so much if you just did it."
Oh.
Sigh.
It's no good, is it?
I'd better go down and fix him a cup of tea and a cookie.
13 comments:
oh yes, I completely understand this... sometimes even the delivery man is too much for me!
I like dpd because they give you an hour slot, so at least I know for that hour that I will be interupted at any moment and that's ok... because then everything will go back to not being disturbed....
The dog goes nuts when the door is rung and it takes me for ever to get back into what I was doing.
Our study is being decorated in a couple of months time and I am dreading it
Heheh. Even as I was writing this, I thought "Jen will understand . . ."
And yet you still showed service... (( hugs))
Deb x
Aww! What a nice thing to say! x
Life is often too much for me as well. I offer tradesmen cold water or drink. They can have tea or coffee but it is so hot here that people appreciate the cold drink. I think it is great that you offer snacks.
Ah — it's been hot here too, Suzan, hotter than I've known it in 30 years. But this last week the year has turned and we have a breeze again, and showers of rain. At last!
I don't think it is that unusual.
I have moved twice since being a widow (so HAVE to deal with workers alone!). One a place that need to be renovated so lots of different workers were involved.
I have always made it very clear I will not being doing the drinks and biscuits bit, and will expect them to make their own. None has seemed bothered, and most have.
I hide in my room or go out.
Hello Rachel — how lovely to hear from you. Waving!
Ha! Rachel, I loved your comment about hiding in your room.
I feel the same when the window cleaner comes around. When I lived in a house, I used to sit in the stairs. Now I live in a bungalow I have to skulk from room to room!
I also have a strange feeling of guilt when we have tradesmen around and also when our cleaning lady and gardener are here. Both my husband and I are disabled so we need help in our home and I tell myself that we're giving someone employment, which is good. But I do feel lazy and embarrassed when I can't do the work myself. Is it a case of inverted snobbery that I direct at myself? ;)
Kay in Kernow.
I offer a glass of ice water right away if a worker comes. That's about it -- no cookies. :)
I like Kay's comment about skulking from room to room -- I do that too when I hire window washers. Skulking in our own homes! LOL. I also try not to answer the door if the bell sounds. Years ago I wouldn't have minded, but now I do. :(
Me too — same as you and Kay! Window-washers, scaffolders — I sit on the stairs or go up into the attic!
My curiosity is piqued. Is it a cultural expectation to offer tradesman/laborers working on your property some sort of refreshment? This is new to me. That is not the expectation. (Now I'm off to ask my friend that lives in the American South if this is common courtesy there.)
Well, I think we aren't all the same here, but everybody I know would for sure offer people working on our homes a cup of tea or coffee at least, and probably a little snack of some kind too. I'd feel it would be rude not to.
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