730 things — Day 115 of 365

Something happened yesterday that really made me think.

I have two cardigans and had it in mind to get another. I found one on eBay in a quiet beige wool heather mixture that I liked, a very good make, from a second-hand dealer who sent me an offer of a lower price that I accepted. The price I paid was modest but not the lowest — however, since it was a wool garment from a firm I knew, I had confidence in the purchase. 

It was dispatched promptly and well packaged — but, oh dear me, what a horrible thing! It looked ancient and somewhat grubby (though it smelt clean). It was crunchy and hard in texture and had noticeable stains on the front. 

Naturally I sent it back by the fastest return available to me — but it was what else I did that made me think. I had two or three other things on my eBay watch list; another cardigan of the same make in a different colour and a light-weight roll-neck (same colour, same make as the cardigan), some underwear, and a few possibles of a Neals Yard foam bath I love that various people were selling of at a low price. I deleted them all. I just felt sick of eBay and fed up to have bought such a rubbish thing.

And it occurred to me what a responsibility any undertaking is — that seller, in palming off on someone an over-priced piece of tat, had dropped a pebble in the community pond with spreading ripples. Not only will I never buy from them again (I have a good memory for such things) but the other sellers will have lost the customer they might have found for their items too, because I deleted all these things from my watch list and decided to call it quits for the time being.

Almost inevitably, like it or not, we are part of a category of people, as well as simply individuals; and what we do and the standards we maintain will affect how all the people in our category are perceived. Even when we don't really mean to, or think about it, we have an influence, we are part of something bigger than ourselves.

I am somewhat scraping the barrel now — I have two last things to send on their way, and then I need to look through my DIY bits and bobs to see if I have anything to go from there.

So, for today — a final pair of trousers and a soft, snuggly winter snood/scarf.

The scarf was lovely, but it had a family memory attached. Unfolding events over the years have left me preferring to delete rather than perpetuate family memories; it has become exhausting. It is possible to look back with affection, but I'd rather have no reminders extant.