Does clothing matter to you? Mine is very important to me. It doesn't look as though it is — this I realise.
Sister Carmel of blessed memory remarked to me in passing one day, "I look for the person who looks most like a tramp around the place, and I know it's you." (Perhaps I should explain, by "tramp" she meant something like a hobo, not a lady of ill repute.)
My sister and my mother once raided my wardrobe when I was away from home and sent some of my clothes to the jumble sale, so aesthetically offensive did they find them. Indeed, to the end of her life my mother tended to invite her friends to share her unflattering commentary on my appearance.
One time when I was conducting a quiet day at a retreat house, a lady attending explained that she thought people ought not to go out and about dressed as I do, because others have to look at them.
I've had the senior steward from a Methodist chapel visit my home bearing tidings of how singularly unimpressive his congregation found my appearance (and my preaching, and the way I conducted Bible study).
On one occasion when I planned a retreat with the title The Beauty of Holiness, at which all the ladies were to wear saris, a person I invited responded that she didn't need beauty advice from someone whose hair resembled a used mop. Beauty advice was not the intention the point of a Beauty of Holiness retreat of course, but that's a separate issue.
So, all in all, I have formed the impression that the world at large is not drawn to admire my appearance and my sartorial choices. You know what? I don't care. In fact it's quite instructive — it helps me make up my mind who to avoid.
But though my clothing never brings gasps of admiration from onlookers, I like it and it is important to me. I love soft and pliable textiles — natural fibres for preference, but soft above all. I like stretchy, lightweight fabrics, and peaceful colours — blues and greys, browns and greens. I like modesty and flow and drape. Nothing tight.
And I like my clothes to smell nice. I care very much what I wash them in. When people tell me they wash themselves and their clothing in soda and rinse it in vinegar, I hope I receive the information politely and show interest; but I leave it there.
I dislike anything crunchy and hard, I feel over-confined in woven fabrics sewn into close fitting tailored styles — there is something ominously reminiscent of the strait-jacket in such clothing. I cannot wear closed shoes because they bruise my feet.
How about you? Are you fussy about clothes?
And then I was thinking with reluctance that I must tackle the understairs cupboard to see what needs sorting out to go, when I suddenly remembered that only this morning I gave away two unstarted packs of supplements to someone who wanted to try them and didn't have any. It didn't cross my mind to photograph them, but they looked the same as these that I still have.
So those were two things that left my life today. The things in the cupboard under the stairs can wait for tomorrow.
10 comments:
I'm afraid I love clothes as well. I don't shop that often and don't shop beyond my means but I love to sale shop and find a bargain that fits into my wardrobe. It would take a psychologist about ten seconds but I love the way a new outfit feels and that will be because, as a teenager money was tight and I often felt unattractive and unfeminine. See? Probably not even ten seconds.
I know not everyone enjoys shopping, but I think for most people it's fun to browse and choose. It's interesting, like a game. x
I truly do not like the shopping process. There is one exception and that is buying for my granddaughter. There is a new granddaughter coming but her mother is so picky and the won't be as much fun. Yesterday I was very pleased to find some clothes made in Australiana fabrics, reduced and sized for next year. They are hanging and waiting for her to grow. Personally I like my clothing to be made of natural fibres and fairly loose.
I find your comments about the woman who told you she would not take beauty advice from you sad but funny too. MY ex mother-in-law could not follow nuances within language. One Christmas I was in huge amounts of trouble for buying her son a jigsaw that was the work of the devil. It was a Where's Wally jigsaw of the medieval time period. I could never explain that it a legitimate thing and that it wasn't spelt EVIL. I hope that one brought a little smile.
Dear Pen,
I don't normally comment but today I felt I must. How rude are some people! As a child I suffered from not being the "little lady" that some people expected me to be. I am glad you don't let the comments hurt you. Did those people stop to see your beautiful smile and complexion with eyes that twinkle and a face that shows the love of God shining through?
"Natural fibres and fairly loose" — Amen to that! And such clothing, I do believe, protects health as well.
As to the incident about the jigsaw — oh, for goodness sake! What was she thinking?!
Dear Anonymous friend — I almost lost your lovely comment! My notifications come through Gmail which stacks them so some get hidden. I hope you have left that "little lady" well and truly behind! Actually it is very helpful when people speak their mind — seeing them for what they are, I have excised almost all those rude people from my day-to-day life, and I do not miss them.
Catching up a day late.
Clothes are such an important aspect of self-expression. Natural fabrics are really important to me, I have psoriasis, so polyester and acrylic make my skin crawl.
A major revelation came about 30 years ago when my family paid for a half day with a consultant "to have my colours read". In the past I had been asked if I felt ill when wearing certain pastel colours but had not understood why.
The key distinction for me is between cool colours (defined as having blue under them) and warm colours (with yellow under them). Most people know instinctively what looks good and what doesn't because it compliments skin tone, hair and eye colour. I favour warm colours, with my yellow tinted skin tone and greenish eyes; once upon a time my hair was chestnut brown too.
Testing what suits you is straightforward. Hold things up in natural light and compare the way they affect your look. Mid-blue (cool) or yellow (warm)? Pale blue or leaf green? Purpley red or orangey red? And neutrals, cool grey or warm beige? Slate grey or brown?
It's one of those things you can't unsee once you see it. That one consultation has saved me from years of unsuitable clothing purchases and I do feel good in everything I own.
Ah yes, the right colours are so important, aren't they!
The boldness of some people in saying whatever they like astounds me sometimes. I try to look beyond hair and clothing and other things, to see the heart, the mind, the image of God, the other perspective. There is beauty to be found anywhere we look, right? I know I am so grateful when people look beyond what they see with their eyes in me. Still learning and making my way in this, though.
About the vinegar -- I have only recently started putting 2 Tablespoons of white vinegar in the fabric softener cup of my washer, so it gets into the final rinse...because I was told it would make my laundry smell good and not like vinegar. I have been pleasantly surprised at how fresh my laundry smells now, never like vinegar, and apparently it does good things to the washer and clothes, etc.
Anyway, hello to you and your family dear Ember. And all your lovely friends here on the blog. xoxo
Waving to you, honey! I hope all is well with you and yours. xx
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