Now, I bet this happens to you too — unless you go absolutely everywhere in a car.
It's when I'm walking along the street, at specific points like a bridge or a crossing, or where the pavement (sidewalk) narrows, or when the only way is through an aperture like an underpass — that sort of place. Places where strangers must pass each other closely.
Very frequently — and I think, though I haven't double-checked, it's always (or at least usually) men who do this — as the other person coming from the opposite direction passes me, they exhale. Like a dragon. Like a sort of hiss, or the opposite of a gasp. Not loud, but not always especially quiet either.
People do this a lot. Why? Its really weird.
9 comments:
Pen, I wonder if it is part of 'clash anxiety' on our behalf (women's usually, I think)? I find I really, really watch the oncomer and I feel my anxiety level rise as I wonder: go a little bit right? left? Does that push him/her into a puddle/obstacle and make me look greedy/uncaring? My 'exhalation' would be a sigh of relief from safe passing; though I have noticed what you say - dragons!
My friend Lisa says:
I have a theory: in a narrow place, escape is perceived to be harder and vulnerability is perceived to be greater, so these men, as I remember [Isaac] and some others talking about once, are assessing the situation, making a plan for winning a fight or getting away. And as the person passes and it seems the there was no threat, they breathe again with relief.
Aha! Interesting! I think sometimes, too, they are announcing their presence, just as our cats make a small noise when they enter the same space as one of us. For instance, sometimes when I'm waiting for the lights at a pedestrian crossing, a man who comes up alongside me might make the dragon noise, and it's more as he arrives than as he leaves. Likewise I find it's as the people approach or draw level that they do it rather than as they walk away. But I suppose the moment they draw level is also the moment the (primitively) discerned threat is also found to be not dangerous after all.
Although . . . I *can* be dangerous.
I walk all over the place, but most folks in my town get "everywhere" by car so I rarely meet anyone on the street while walking. Which is sad, but... Now I'll have to pay attention when I do and see! They're almost always women though, when I think on it. Interesting!
I think this is a difference between England and America, and it must be partly because America is so much bigger and everything is therefore more spread out. Our streets are crowded with both cars and pedestrians, but then I live in the town. Out in the country villages there are not so many people walking about, because in many places the village shops have closed. It's often people walking dogs you see out and about on foot.
Yes, I am sure you're correct. I live in a fairly sprawling suburban style town in the fourth largest state in our very large county. So very spread out all around!
I kind of "Nick Nolte" breath when I'm walking. Usually it's not directed at anyone but I'm lost in thought or stressed out.
Here lots of people vape or smoke cigarettes so you're in a cloud of some sort going down the street lol!
Hi Beth — yes, spacious!
Hi Katrina — oh, yes, we have lots of papers and smokers here, too.
Or, "vapers", even. Wretched autocorrect.
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