Friday, 4 May 2012

Sugar and spite


Nope.  Not going to happen.

All day I have been trying to summon the energy to do the work I am supposed to be doing.

Nah-ah.  Zilch.

My motivation is as springy and focussed as shot knicker-elastic.

Tomorrow is another day.

But

I have been thinking.

In my thought bubbles, everything is condensing down to more easily processed compartments.

In terms of food – this:
Fairly traded and ethically farmed; no GMO, organic preferred
From small local businesses, preferably sourced from small local farms
Fresh or dried, unprocessed wholefoods, avoiding plastic packaging
Foods that alkalize the body

In terms of earning a living – this
“Right livelihood” – ie work that has no hidden shadows – work done directly for and paid by the client.  Investments only in what I see and know – no deposit accounts relying on guns and bombs or dodgy sweatshops.

In terms of daily life – this:
SPACE – simplifying down to the point where I am not hustled or harassed, but have space to live mindfully and conscientiously.  No clutter to clean and organise.  No crammed schedule to wind me up.  Simple requirements needing small income leaving space to think and dream and make conscious responses and choices.
Living every day in duet with Mother Earth – handling water as precious, fuel as precious, body waste as precious nutrition to compost for the flowers; loving the song of birds and the changing daylight moonlight starlight and the fragrance of growing things. Moving in time as music, kairos dancing; not consumed by the relentless jaws of Chronos.

Now; I have a mountain to climb.  I have identified one bubble of thorniest difficulty, and it is all to do with my tongue.  Brother James writes about it here:
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.      (James 3:3-8)

My tongue is taking me into trouble. 

Looking into my life to see what in general needs attention, I identified two things:
  1. Negative speech.  I am very sarcastic, and I grumble and complain a lot.
  2. I am addicted to sugar.


Then it occurred to me, maybe those are the same thing.  They are both poison tongue issues – a fire, a world of evil corrupting the whole body.

I wish I wish I wish  . . . for a sangha – a wisdom community of mutual support, walking the same way, seeing the same vision . . . people whose pigs are headed where my pig is.  Of firm determination.  Purposeful. Strong.  I could be those things if I had created the right habit energy, but I didn’t do it.  Fifty-five years of poison tongue – poison going in and poison coming out – have set up a current that flows against where I want to go.  And my past record shows little hope of swimming against the current.

But

I will try.

Breathing in, I savour the aroma of wholesomeness
Breathing out, I am renewed
Breathing in, I enjoy the peace of freedom from sugar peaks and troughs
Breathing out, I enjoy the peace of no criticism, no blame
Breathing in, I delight in the oxygen of simplicity
Breathing out, I take things one step at a time in mindfulness

Peace is every step; not side-tracked, not distracted, not disappointing myself.

Today is the first day I will not be Red Riding Hood.  I will release all the wolves into the wild and leave the tempting flowers to bloom on their own.

Not because my mother told me to, and not because I am afraid; but because this is my path, and it is time to begin walking it.

But I am only an Unsui, an unfit beginner.  Who will be my teacher, my guide, my coach?  I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills.  From whence cometh my help?

Oh, okay.  My help is in the Name of the Lord, who has made heaven and earth.

The Name of the Lord is a strong tower.  The righteous run into it, and they are saved.  I have news for you. Inside the Name of the Lord there is no sugar and no spite.  I will shelter there when the path gets too steep and I am tired.

On another matter entirely, here and here are two sublimely groovy websites.

--------------------------------------------------- 

365 366 Day 126 – Saturday May 5th      



What is this tedious little thing?  Oh, a pointless freebie from Clinique.  They were hoping to improve my face.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah,sugar! I, too, have a problem with sugar. At the moment I'm restricting how much I eat, but I know that some people manage to go cold-turkey. I pray that this will work for you. I've just been diagonosed with arthritis in my spine (quite painful) and I've been reading up articles that link sugar with arthritis. The trouble is, whenever I decide to give up sugar altogether, I seem to end up at all sorts of social occasions where the white stuff is so attractively presented!
Please keep us up-to-date with how you get on. Julie in Duluth seems to be doing very well, and maybe the pair of you will inspire me.
Kay x

Ember said...

"Keep us up to date with how you get on". Brainwave, Kay! I will. I'll make Fridays my check-in day to report progress. That will be a support in continuing. Good thort, mrs! x

Anonymous said...

"Today is a new day with no mistakes in it". Where is that from? Anne of Green Gables perhaps, who also talks about kindred spirits...

I always try to tell myself not to live with regrets, and what if's. It's hard, and maybe something that needs to be remembered daily.

Julie N (from you know where!)

Elin said...

Oh, I understand the tongue-thing, I have a sharp tongue too I am afraid...

About sugar though, I used to eat a lot of sugar but I kicked the habit quite easily when I cut down on all sugar and most other carbohydrates for a period. No bread, pasta, rice, potato or fruits. Low-carb vegetables and berries are OK. It is often also good to add a bit more fat to your diet during this time, olive oil, coconut oil and butter (if you eat that). Doing this killed my sugar habit and I can now eat natural sugar like fruits and all vegetables but I still need to be careful with bread, pasta and of course sugar itself, however, I am still less sensitive to sugar now.

Anonymous said...

Well, I will be checking in with you on Friday too! I have decided to join you on this sugar-free journey. To be frank, I also need to join you on the spite-free journey too!
Kay x

maria said...

You have released it...now let it go completely. Help always comes from Him, because the path you are on was chosen for you by HIM. Do you believe this Pen? We struggle so hard to find a right balance, to try to make sense of everything that we are feeling...but we forget that all of our emotions pass through the filter of Our Savior that walks with us. He is Our Help. Oh, I don't mean sermons, nor books written by others, I mean His Words. Just His Words. Then things begin to shift and begin to make sense.

The more I study Zen, the closer I come to Jesus. The more I let go and let God.

Great post as always. Be peace and joy today Pen.

m.

Ember said...

Hey there Julie N :0)
Yes indeed - regrets are a waste of a good present moment x

Elin: that's interesting! A friend taught me a good dessert - chopped banana cooked for a while in coconut milk - a really handy one to know as it tastes normal enough to give to guests.

Kay - good! We can travel together, with Julie B too.

Maria - yes, my most helpful teacher and inspiration in following the Christian way is Thich Nhat Hanh.
I had not thought of what you said - that the path was chosen for my by God, by Jesus. I find that a very inspiring, uplifting thought. Thank you so much xxx

Gerry Snape said...

I'm in BIG trouble today 'cos of my tongue...I've copy and pasted the end bit of the post and will read it over...you know those days when you say,"please Lord send me a word?" this is the day for me! thankyou Ember!

Ember said...

:0) Me too, Gerry, if it's any consolation - I didn't even get through the morning without causing trouble! Fortunately I live with forgiving people!! God bless our valiant attempts to improve!

Anonymous said...

G-d, please help me eat less sugar! really sounds ridiculous


Maria
G-d will never filter the garbage we came up with in our daily life




regards wimmera

Anonymous said...

To Love God...
“ To love God with all your heart means--to love with all your soul, with meekness, humility, purity and chastity, wisdom, truth, mercy, obedience, for the sake of God, and never to act contrarily to these virtues; that is, not to become proud, irritated, angry against anyone; not to commit adultery even in the heart; not to violate chastity, either by look, thought, or gesture; to avoid every inconsiderate, needless word and deed; to shun every iniquity; to hate avarice and covetousness; to flee from self-will and disobedience.”

- Saint John of Kronstadt


easy?


wimmera

Ember said...

Hi wimmera :0) Waving! x